Hell is for Heroes
by An Angel's Silver Tear
Summary: [COMPLETE!]Heero finds a little piece of heaven amongst his hellish life. Everyone’s about to find out that you never know what you’ve got till you almost lose it.
1. Chapter One

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture! ^_^  
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ^_^) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas *hides* don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear **********************************************************************************************************  
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter One  
  
The 3 year old stood in amongst the debris, his mother's dead body clutched close to him. "Mommy" the child cried "Daijoubu desu ka?" (Are you alright?)  
  
When there was no answer the child cried harder "Onegai mommy, aishiteru!" (Please mommy, I love you)  
  
Odin watched the scene tears he hadn't cried in years coursing down his face and his heart heavy with guilt. It was supposed to be a simple assignment, blow up the building where the freedom fighters were hiding and walk away, but that child. The tiny human being currently sobbing over his dead mother changed all that. 'Why do I keep fucking up!!!' the blonde assassin screamed at himself mentally 'First one of my 'jobs' causes a war and now I orphan a child, what kind of monster am I anyway?!'  
  
Unbeknown to Odin there was a pair of deep blue eyes watching him intently. Odin looked back at the scene and noticed that the boy had stopped crying and was now staring at him with a heart breaking look of childish innocents and confusion.  
  
Odin sighed, and cautiously walked over to the small child who looked to be about three years old. "Hey kid, your mum's not gunna wake up, I'm……..sorry" the blonde chocked out "why don't you come with me and we'll find you somewhere to stay." The boy just stared at him, a distrustful look in his eyes. Odin sighed again, he should really get out of there before he was caught, the authorities would be along to pick up the boy shortly, but for some reason he just couldn't leave. There was just something about this boy. The assassin tried again "Kid please just come with me, I promise I won't hurt you and you really don't want to end up in one of the federation orphanages, believe me" Odin himself had once had a friend who adopted a child from a federation orphanage. The child had been so badly malnourished due to the over population of the orphanages that it had taken her adopted parents years to get him to a healthy weight, Odin couldn't let that happen to this miniature angel.   
  
"Yamero" (stop) the boy exploded "Urasai" (shut up) he whispered brokenly a few seconds later. Odin was startled, but he had no idea what the hell the kid had just said, he bent down to the child's level and spoke softly "I don't understand you, but please let me help you" the boy seemed to understand and took Odin's outstretched hand.   
  
Odin led the boy through the remains of the building to his temporary home.  
  
***  
  
Over the years Odin and 'Kid' (as Odin dubbed the boy) became as close as father and son and although this bond was never spoke of, it was felt by both parties.  
  
Odin taught his Kid everything he knew about how to be an assassin as well as the basic skills every child needs such as the ability to read and write. In addition to this he taught Kid English. There was finally happiness in the middle aged man's life.  
  
In AC188 Odin left Kid's world forever and a sinister looking man by the name of Doctor J entered it.   
  
*** 


	2. Chapter Two

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture! ^_^  
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ^_^) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas *hides* don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear **********************************************************************************************************  
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Exhausted after a rough training session, a nine year old boy stumbles into his tiny cell like room. Dr J doesn't allow the boy to have a lock on his door for fear of the boy using it to escape training.   
  
As the child collapses on to the bed, asleep before his head hit's the pillow he doesn't't noticed the rather drunk technician looking at him with lust filled brown eyes.  
  
Chef-Technician Gregory Mitchell had been watching the mini-whore for months now. The way the child moved was extraordinary, such grace from a little boy was unconceivable, and truth be told Greg was more than just a little turned on by the boy. Mitchell had spent the night in the company of a rather large whiskey bottle and now seeing the object of all his wild fantasies asleep and vulnerable he couldn't hold himself back. He needed sexual release from this boy and he was going to get it, now.   
  
He casually strolled into the little harlot's room and pulled the tramp from his bed and the realms of Morpheus. Fear, the dominant emotion passing through the little boy, this fear only served to turn Mitchell on more. He stripped the boy of his clothes and forced the child to kneel before him. "Look whore, you suck me off and I'll forget about the little show you put on in training", the child was confused 'show?… what show?' he had done no such thing but when he opened his mouth to tell this smelly man that he felt something large and bitter slide down his throat. He wanted to gag but somehow he knew that if he did the evil man would hurt him so he kept quiet. "Suck slut" was the command given to Kid from above. Kid tearfully complied. "ummmmmm……nnnnnnnnnn…..harder………faster" the man commanded. Kid obeyed.   
  
Greg moaned, he was in heaven. The boy's mouth was moist and hot. He groaned as the boy's delicate lips moved up and down his pulsing shaft. He was suddenly taken over by a wave of ecstasy.  
  
Suddenly the man buried hands in Kid's hair and the bad man was thrusting mercilessly into Kid's throat. Suddenly with a pleasure filled shout Greg released a hot salty liquid into Kid's mouth. It was disgusting, Kid wanted to spit it out but a command to swallow it came from the Chef-Tech so he complied and drank the putrid stuff.   
  
At the sight of the whore swallowing his passion Greg let out a strangled growl, slapped the boy on the right cheek, hard, and walked out leaving a very confused and upset nine year old in his wake.   
  
Kid sat heavily on the floor, still naked and cried, then vomited, then cried some more. What had he done wrong? What just happened to him? Why did he suddenly feel dirty and disgusting? He cried himself to sleep unaware of what the sick, perverted technicians had install for him.  
  
***  
  
A few weeks later Kid was taking a walk around the lab he lived in, J had had a malfunction in machinery and so didn't have the time to train Kid today. Kid took advantage of this and decided to explore. While exploring one of the corridors he was grabbed and dragged into the technician's recreation room.  
  
The room was a reasonable size. There was a pool table in the center of the vroom and all the walls but one were lined with very comfy looking chairs. The one wall not lined with chairs was lined with seven different types of vending machines. There were a few small foldable coffee tables in front of a few of the chairs, on a few where discarded cards.   
  
Kid looked round and saw that he had been dragged into the center of a mob. He was scared now. Michell was at the head of the group.   
  
"Hiya Whore, long time no see" he leered, undressing the child with his eyes. "So you up for a little fun Kid?" Kid opened his mouth to reply but Mitchell promptly shut it. "No talking! Every time you say a word you get a smack, you got it?" Kid nodded "Good boy, now then Kid this is what I your going to do… Each man in this room had been taken in by your filthy display. The way you flaunt yourself just to tease us. Well we've made it so the old man won't be bothering us anytime soon." There were chuckles from around the room, and the group seemed to move closer to Kid. Kid felt really uncomfortable with the way these men where looking at him. He was so   
  
confused, what had he done wrong?   
  
Before that question could be answered Mitchell spoke up.  
  
"Take your clothes off boy" Kid shook, he knew what was coming next, but why weren't the others stopping this, then it hit him, the look in their eyes was the same look Chef-Tech had given him before…before… He still didn't get what happened but he knew it was bad and he knew he didn't want it to happen again.   
  
"NO" he shouted and made a break for the door, unfortunately the Techs were faster. They grabbed the boy and dulled him into the room. "That was not a smart thing to do boy" Mitchell scolded. Kid was then stripped and forced to stand in the center of the room. Simon a technician that Kid had considered a nice man -till now at least- stepped forward, bent down and whispered into Kid's ear. "Just submit to them, suck for them and keep quiet and they'll let you go once they've got their pleasure. And you'll get less hurt if you don't fight them." "Please help me, I don't want this" Kid looked at Simon with pleading eyes "Please" "I can't, they'd kill me, or my daughter. I'm sorry Kid but I have to keep my family safe, please forgive me."  
  
Kid understood, Simon had once told him that he had a two year old daughter, Kid couldn't let her get hurt, not because of him. He knelt down in the iron grip in which he was held. "I'll do what you want" he told them, the air of lust in the room grew.   
  
The first one was hard when they came he barely had time to swallow before the next cock was in his mouth.   
  
After the 30th person he blacked out. His throat hurt, these men weren't gentle. He woke up on the floor under the pool table and staggered back to his room.   
  
For the next few weeks he was unable to utter a word.   
  
***  
  
A goggled figure watched the scene in the rec' room with disgust. He knew this was inevitable but he couldn't stop it without losing valuable workers. He felt sorry for the boy but he couldn't let emotions get in the way of the boy's training. The 'incident' wouldn't interfere with the boys training so he reasoned that it wasn't his concern. He would train the boy in self defense and hand to hand combat instead of the computer skills he's been teaching him.   
  
The boy was a fast learner and he was confident that the necessary survival skills the boy so obviously needed could be taught to him within the month leaving the rest of the year open for the boy to learn computer skills and them pick up where Odin left off on weapon handling skills. He needed the boy to be almost fully train within the next two years so he could start coaching him into being 'the perfect solider'.   
  
J set about arranging a new timetable for the boy. After all the soon the boy learnt to defend himself the better.   
  
***  
  
Despite J's self-defense lessons the rec' room incidents continued. Kid wasn't willing to do anything that would jeopardize Simon's daughter's safety. He got better at giving head and the techs' were satisfied.  
  
J had no complaints about Kid's performance in training, he was already more skilled than most of the adult soldiers.   
  
He was truly becoming the 'perfect solider', the other scientists had begun to acquire their pilots and although J knew that his solider was -at the moment at least- superior, he stepped up Kid's training.   
  
He was not looking foreword to subjecting the boy to the next part of the training in Dechim's schedule for the boy, but if it had to be done it had to be done, it had to be done. Besides the boy had already experienced the kind of stuff Dechim was expecting, a little more for training purposes wouldn't hurt.   
  
***  
  
Kid was in the shower. Recently Dr J had been pushing him harder. He didn't mind, it was necessary to achieve peace for the colonies. He knew the fate of the colonies rested on his shoulders. Although he hated that idea he understood what he must do. Odin would be proud, he was sure of it.   
  
Training had taken the surety of Odin's love for him away but he still valued what Odin's opinion, even if his first mentor was not there to give it.   
  
Odin was his sensei (teacher) he had been extremely important.   
  
Kid was so caught up in his thought that he didn't noticed that the door of the bathroom was slowly being pulled open.   
  
Before he knew what was happening he was being slammed against the shower wall. Greg's unwanted hands roaming all over his naked body. Greg's cracked and disgusting lips were pressed to his with a bruising force. "You are a very beautiful boy, you know" Greg's lust filled voice whispered into Kid's ear "I've wanted you   
  
From the moment I first saw you" with that Greg resumed the raping of Kid's mouth.   
  
Greg kissed the blue-eyed beauty brutally, nibbling and biting until the boy's lips were bleeding.  
  
His fingers pressed hard against the boy's cheeks, forcing Kid's mouth to open.  
  
Kid felt a tongue being slipped into his mouth and mental screamed for help as it licked his inner mouth hungrily, teasing his tongue to spar with it.   
  
The brunette technician switched his hand from his new toy's cheek to the back of the child's neck, pressing the boy against his mouth while pushing his tongue in much deeper and raping the sweet, moist cavern.   
  
He didn't stop his assault. Sucking on Kid's lips, making the boy out of breath.   
  
Kid just managed to breathe once before Greg's greedy mouth closed back onto his.  
  
After what seemed forever the middle aged man ceased the kissing and pulled away.   
  
Licking his lips, and savoring the taste that was there. Greg looked at the boy pinned to the wall under him lustfully "You taste so good" he breathed.   
  
His hands started to roaming over the twelve year olds lithe body, touching and prodding.  
  
Rough fingers roamed over the boy's bare chest and then sank his nails into that plane of developing muscle. Kid hissed in pain, Greg seemed to ignore it, secretly he was getting off on it and Kid knew it.   
  
A tongue was pushed back inside the boy's hot cavern while his hands pinched the nipples on the small boy's chest.   
  
Teeth where planted in to the juncture between the boy's neck and shoulder without warning  
  
"Never expected that, huh?" The man licked the blood that trailed down from the mark he had made. He moved his mouth over the child's upper body, planting his teeth everywhere he wanted and enjoying feeling the boy jerk beneath him. "These marks make you mine boy, my property, my toy."  
  
Soon Greg's toy's body was covered with bite marks. Mitchell licked the blood on some marks and let the rest of them bleeding. He loved tasting this boy, so sweet.   
  
His hand never ceased stroking the boy's thigh as he went.   
  
"I'm going to make you scream and beg me to stop when I fuck you, boy." Greg lifted one of Kid's legs up and started rubbing his painfully hard erection against the boy's non-responding groin. "You're going to bleed and feel so sore for days. They say you always remember your first, well I'm going to make it so you'll never want it again. You'll always be my whore Kid, always!"  
  
Gregory couldn't wait to impale his aching erection into the boy's, surely, tight passage.   
  
"I love seeing you bleeding. I will not hold back, I'm gunna fuck you dry. You are mine, boy." Kid was terrified! Dry fuck, this bastard was going to ripe him to shreds! He needed to get out of this and fast. But Simon's daughter, he couldn't let her get hurt but there again if he killed this guy then there would be know one to hurt the little girl then would there?  
  
With a scream that sounded like the one of a wild animal Kid threw Greg against the opposite wall and started viciously banding his would-be-rapists head against it.   
  
After about 10 minutes of this senseless banging he stepped back. He'd managed to crush the back of Chef-Technician Gregory Mitchell's head in and blood was seeping from the wound.   
  
Kid watch in morbid fascination as the dead man's blood was washed way by the spray from the shower.   
  
  
  
He knew he should feel something right now. He'd just killed someone who was about to rape him, but oddly he felt nothing. No fear, no regret, nothing. He was just thinking how weird this whole thing was when J and a band of technicians stormed in. J gave the order for Kid to be taken to his study and left there alone where Kid would be able to shower, dress and sleep.   
  
Gregory Mitchell's body was secretly jet-set into space and the other technicians were given the order to leave Kid alone if they valued their lives. For some reason that threat now held more weight.   
  
J watched the CCTV footage from the shower room again. He saw the glint in his soldier's eyes as he smashed the older man's head against the porcelain tiled walls. J was worried that this was something that his solider wouldn't come back from but amazingly enough Kid seemed unaffected. He decided that this part on Dechim's plan was going undone. He was not having this remarkable little soldier raped. The moment when Kid was just stood staring at the blood flashed onto the screen. The look in the child's eyes was eerie, the boy had the eyes of a man and that's when J knew that he truly had the perfect soldier.   
  
*** 


	3. Chapter Three

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture! ^_^  
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ^_^) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas *hides* don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear **********************************************************************************************************  
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Three  
  
'I hate war' Duo thought to himself 'so many deaths.' Duo sighed and walked over to the window. It was raining and the grounds of the boarding school he was staying with the 'perfect solider' were deserted. 'I wonder if anyone would even care if I jumped' he was miserable, the last battle had been hard and the five Gundam pilots had almost been defeated by the Ozzies. To add to his depressive mood it was also the anniversary of his best friend Solo's death. 'I've been alone to long…hummmmm… I bet you're sat up there laughing at me right now ain't ya Solo!' duo sighed 'I wonder if Father Maxwell and Sister Helen are taking care of you up there So. I wonder if you're leading all other orphans in a dirt war, just like we used to do…." Duo sighed again and sank down onto his bed. "Solo…"  
  
Heero Yuy -Gundam pilot 01, the perfect solider and 15 year old formally known as Kid- walked in to the dorm room he was sharing with the Gundam pilot 02 and noticed something rather odd.   
  
Duo was led on his bed, curled up into a tight ball hugging a pillow. Something wasn't right here. The braided baka, as Heero had dubbed him after just a few hours of knowing him, was usually bouncing around the room creating a huge mess which Heero would usually have to later make him clean up.  
  
Heero felt a tug at his heart. What could be wrong with the boy who always managed to spare a cheery smile at a disgusting killing machine like him? Heero had to do something. Someone like Duo shouldn't be sad. He didn't want Duo to be sad; he wanted Duo to be happy. But he'd never been good in situations like this; he didn't know what to do. May be he should go get Quatre, the blonde always seemed to know what to do in situations like this. Suddenly that idea didn't seem so good. Heero and Trowa had gone to a bar a few nights ago and Trowa had confessed that he had a huge crush on Quatre. Heero had told him to just tell Quatre. He was positive that Quatre felt the same, although he wasn't going to let on to that incase he was wrong.   
  
As tonight was the night that Trowa had decided to tell Quatre that meant that if he went to get Quatre now he would be ruining Trowa's plans and probably the happiness of two of his fellow pilots. 'Ok, so getting Quatre is out of the question' he sighed 'so I guess it's up to me, don't hate me for this Duo, I only wanna help' he thought bitterly to himself.   
  
The sound of Heero's footsteps reached Duo's ears and he uncurled himself and sat up, not wanting to lose face in front of the Japanese pilot.   
  
When he turned to look at Heero he was surprised by the softness of Heero's eyes. Heero walked to Duo's bed and sat down next to the American pilot.   
  
"What's wrong Duo?" he asked tenderly. Duo could only stare in shock. Why was Heero being so nice? What had happened to his emotionless roommate? Before he could stop it his defense mechanism kicked in, "What makes you think there's something wrong, spandex boy?!" he snarled.   
  
"You're not acting like your usually self, that's all. I'm………..worried about you." Heero explained now thinking that this was a really bad idea and maybe he should have interrupted Quartre and Trowa after all.   
  
Duo could only stare. Worried about him? Heero Yuy, emotionless-bastard was worried about him? Had he heard right? He turned to look at Heero, searching his eyes for…..something. Something that would give him an excuse to escape. He was surprised when he found sincerity, worry, and something else. Did Heero care about him? NO! No-one cared about him. All the people who had loved and cared about him were six feet under. But here Heero was, looking at him kindly with those deep, deep blue eyes.   
  
Heero was taken back by the depth of emotion he saw running through Duo. The pain was so evident in the braided boy's eyes that Heero felt an overwhelming erg to just take the boy in his arms and hold him in a tight embrace. He surrendered to that erg when he saw the pain reflecting in Duo's eyes double.   
  
Duo was in shock. He was being hugged by the perfect solider. Now he knew that that impassive face Heero had really was just a mask. He had suspected this for a while, but here was the proof.   
  
He held onto Heero, borrowing his face in Heero's shirt. He felt Heero's hand move to his back where it started to rub in soothing circles. Duo couldn't help it; no-one had held him since Sister Helen at the orphanage. He started to cry. He felt Heero full him to sit in the short haired teens lap. 'This is soooo humiliating' he thought 'BOYS DON'T CRY, DAMMIT' but the steady movement to Heero's had on him back pushed that thought far out of his mind. All he could think about was the warmth Heero's muscular body was providing him with. The feeling of security that was coming off his usually stoic friend.   
  
Heero felt Duo snuggle closer. It was odd but he wasn't in control anymore, his body was saying thing that he couldn't express in words. The words his first mentor Odin Lowe had said to him can into his mind 'Follow your emotions' well, he was truly doing that now wasn't he.   
  
A thought crossed his mind. Maybe if Duo talked about it he would feel better. They do say a problem shared is a problem halved after all.   
  
When Duo's sniffles had died down Heero re-asked his previous Question. "Duo what's wrong?"  
  
"Heero, what are your parents like?" Duo asked absentmindedly.  
  
"I have no parents" Heero responded. It wasn't an emotional comment, it was a fact. The fact that he had never known his parents wasn't something Heero tended to think about often. All his thoughts had been focused on survival.   
  
Duo suddenly got the feeling that maybe Heero would understand. Maybe. 'Well here goes nothing, if I tell him and he freaks out, it doesn't matter 'coz other than on joint mission we'll probably never see each other again.'  
  
"I don't remember my parents either" Duo admitted "you don't?" Heero was shocked. He wasn't quite sure why but he was.   
  
"I'm a war orphan, I just remember being alone until after a few weeks of wandering the streets and living off garbage, I met another boy, who was about 10 years older than me and directed a gang of street kids.   
  
His name was Solo and he taught me how to steal without being seen, and how to run and hide when I had been seen. He quickly taught me everything he knew.   
  
I was Solo's second, but he was my best friend and I looked up to him like a brother.   
  
Despite having to live on the streets and steal to survive I was happy. They kids were my family. The girls mollycoddled the boys and the really little ones. They said they didn't expect to live to be old enough to have their own children so they were making up for that now. I remember one time when they forced Solo to steal a new shirt coz his had soooooo many holes in it!"  
  
  
  
Duo stopped and chuckled. Heero kept quiet. He knew Duo needed to get this off his chest, something to do with his past had been bothering the braided American all day. In truth Heero felt quite honored that Duo had offered to share his secrets with him.   
  
"But I didn't get to stay happy for long though. The stores where running out of food making it harder to steal things without getting caught.   
  
But we survived. We organized ourselves and we got by, barely.   
  
I felt safe with them, they were my family. One day we were hungry so I went to steal some food for the gang, Solo was on water duty so I went alone. For the first time in my life I got caught.  
  
That night I got back to the hide out and just cried in Solo's arms. He told me that there were a lot of sick perverts out there and he was sorry that I'd met one. He said he'd been trying to keep this from us 'coz we were too little to know these things. I was eight years old."   
  
At this point Heero was stunned. He had an idea of what Duo was talking about and understood that Duo wouldn't want to say it. He kept quiet but he was worried he had a feeling that this story was just going to get worse. He pulled the sobbing Duo into a lose hug and rubbed soothing circles on his back.   
  
"As Solo's second I understood that my job was to protect the younger ones so when I was caught again I didn't struggle as much.  
  
I began to make money out of it by walking down alleys where I knew these perves would be willing to pay to fuck me. I did this to protect the little ones and to earn enough money for us to survive."   
  
Heero's suspicions had been confirmed. The story had got worse. He hugged his friend tighter. He wouldn't let anyone else hurt Duo. Duo had been through enough. He didn't want to hear the rest of the story but Duo needed to tell it so Heero would listen to it.   
  
"It went on for a few weeks' maybe months I'm not quite sure. Then the Federation came up with a plan to get rid of all the poor people living in the streets and soon, plague was spreading on the streets.  
  
The extremely rich, who could afford the antidote anyway were given it for free but the others had to pay. Those who lived in the streets and didn't have enough money… we were left on our own. Corpses began to appear in every ally way, meaning more people become contaminated with the 'L2 Plague'. Solo and the other kids got sick, and I didn't.  
  
Turns out I have a natural immunity against most diseases. I knew there was no way they would survive without the antidote so I came up with an idiotic, half baked plan to go to the nearest Federation hospital, and steal enough antidotes for the whole gang.   
  
I managed it but when I got back most of them where dead.   
  
Solo wasn't. He was still alive and conscious, but he knew he was done. I started to cry, I didn't want to be alone again. I wanted to die so I could always be with Solo. I told Solo this and he made me promise to never take my own life. Not matter how hard it got I was to remember that I was living for the both of us and he would always be with me. Then I watched him die. Right there in my arms…and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it!  
  
The second Solo stopped breathing I decided that I would honor his last wish and live my life for the two of us. So I named myself 'Duo' so we would always be together."   
  
Heero was almost sobbing now too. He wanted to do something to make Duo feel better so he hugged the braided teen closer. It was all he could think of. He desperately wanted to shut Duo up but he wouldn't do that. This was important. His feelings didn't matter. He could cry about t later when it wouldn't be hurting Duo.   
  
"I wondered the streets for a few days. Until I was taken to an orphanage run by a priest named Father Maxwell and a nun named Sister Helen who, for almost two years, I considered my parents. They were really kind to me. I started to think of the orphanage as home. No one wanted to adopted an ex-whore but I didn't care 'coz as far as I was concerned I had the best parents in the worlds and all the siblings I could ask for -and then some. I took the last name 'Maxwell' and made it my surname in honor of my family "  
  
Duo chuckled fondly at the memory. Maxwell Church Orphanage had truly been his home.   
  
"After a few years of happiness a terrible thing happened. The Federation came and bombed the church. 245 people died. Sister Helen died in my arms. I ran.   
  
I didn't no what I was doing or where I was going, but I ran. I was convinced that everyone I loved was going to die because I loved them. I guess I still am. That's how I got the nickname 'Shinigami' anyway.   
  
I ended up stowing away on a sweeper's ship. I just wanted to get out of the hell hole know as L2, but I got caught. G gave me a chance. He trained me to be a Gundam pilot and then ordered me to steal Deathscythe. Strange man but he gave me a way to get revenge for all the people I loved who had been killed by this pathetic war.   
  
I guess the reason all this had come back now is 'coz today is the anniversary of Solo's death"  
  
After that statement Duo remained motionless. He just sat there feeling Heero's presence and the soothing hand on his back. He snuggled closer to the boy he considered his best friend. He felt save here…in Heero's arms.   
  
It was a while before with or they said anything. Then Heero broke the silence. "It wasn't you fault you know. You just happen to survive. I think maybe you alive where as the others dies is because you are meant to do something great. Destiny isn't something I've ever really had much of a belief in, but the belief that if you follow your emotions then you have nothing to regret is something I believe in with the whole of my being. When you chose to take on the pain for yourself in order to help the other children, you where following your emotions. When you decided to make Maxwell Church Orphanage your home, you where following your emotions. When you ran from the scene of destruction, that was following your emotions. When you decided to become a Gundam pilot, you were following your emotions and every time you get in the cockpit you act on your emotions. As a solider your emotions guide you, not matter what others might try to say. Despite all the shit that's happened in your life, you have to try to look at the good things, not many people can say that they've had three loving families. If you keep following your emotions I can't guarantee you that more tragedies won't happen, but I can tell you that you'll be doing the right thing."   
  
Duo looked at Heero in wonder. Heero actually understood. He'd listened and wasn't judging him. He'd got Heero all wrong. He reluctantly pulled away from his best friends comforting embrace to look him in the eye.   
  
When he searched Heero's eyes he was surprised to find sincerity and kindness lurking in those beautiful Prussian orbs. 'Wait a minute did I just say his eyes where beautiful? Oh my God, I'm losing my mind!!!!' Duo mentally ranted.   
  
Suddenly before he knew what he was doing he was leaning forward and kissing those full, rose red lips.   
  
To his surprise Heero's lips were soft. Softer than the lips of any girl Duo had ever kissed before. He pulled Heero closer and put a hand on the Japanese youth's cheek. He noticed that his cheek, like his lips, where incredibly soft and Duo couldn't stop himself from caressing that baby soft cheek.   
  
When he felt that Heero was returning the kiss he couldn't help but smile. He really loved this amazing guy. 'Love…. Do I love him? ……..Yes, I think I do' Duo smiled and broke of the kiss. His lungs where burning and he was in dyer need of some oxygen. At the sight of Heero's beautiful face Duo couldn't help but smile an honest smile of pure love. To his amazement Heero smiles back. 'God he's beautiful, now I no I love him' Duo pulled Heero into his lap and started kissing him thoroughly.   
  
Heero wrapped his arms around Duo's neck and started to suck on Duo's bottom lip hungrily. 'When did I start to have these feelings for him?' he asked himself in wonder. He didn't think about it for long though, he surrendered himself solely to Duo.   
  
Duo was is heaven. Heero the perfection personified. He wanted to feel his soft skin against his and be inside this…this…God. He pushed Heero back onto the bed, never breaking the kiss. His tongue roamed the moist cavern of Heero's mouth and coached Heero's to spar with it, which it did more than willingly.   
  
Duo's hands snaked their way under Heero's trade mark green tank top to play with the hardening nubs he found there. Heero moaned in pleasure. The way Duo was making him feel was indescribable.   
  
Duo's hands started to wonder downwards. He stroked Heero's hardening erection through the material of the infamous spandex cycle shorts.   
  
As Heero felt the hand travel to his groan he started to get flash backs of his time in training. Suddenly the pleasure was gone and when he looked up it was not his best friend Duo Maxwell he saw but the bastard that had tried to rape him all those years ago -Gregory Mitchell.   
  
Heero threw Heero off with all his strength and bolted for the door. He was afraid. Afraid for the first time in 6 years. He cared about Duo, maybe even loved him, but his young mind couldn't see past the pure terror that Mitchell had placed his is psyche.   
  
Heero ran. He ran out of the dorms block and out of the schools campus. He ran faster and faster as if his life depended on it, which in his mind, it did.   
  
He ran until he reached the Ocean situated on the edge of the town where the boarding school was situated.   
  
Once he got onto the beach he ran to a little alcove where he curled up into a tight ball and for the first time in his life, he cried.   
  
Duo was in shock. What had just happened? Heero had been enjoying himself that fact was evident by the moans and groans he'd heard coming for the gorgeous Japanese teens delicious lips.   
  
Duo ran out of the dorms determined to find out what the fuck was going on.   
  
***  
  
After four hours of searching, a very tired and irritable Duo stumbled into his dorm from to find three of his closest friends awaiting his arrival.   
  
Chang WuFei, Quatre R. Winner and Trowa Barton were extremely worried about their friends. WuFei had seen Heero running full pelt off the campus and had been shocked when he noticed how upset the 'Perfect Solider' was.   
  
After Heero's Self-detonation in Wing, the pilots had begun to think of Heero as immortal and inhuman. To see him that upset had chocked the Shenlong Pilot to the core. He had immediately gone to tell his soul brothers, Quatre and Trowa, what he'd seen.   
  
Trowa suspected foul play on Duo's part when the Deathscythe pilot was nowhere to be found. He knew Heero had had some severer trauma in his past from the countless nights him and his sister Catherine Bloom had spend nursing the Wing pilot back to health.   
  
The three had eagerly awaited the return of either Duo or Heero as they felt that it was imperative they know what was going on.   
  
As their braided brother practically fell into the dorm room he had been allocated at 'Green Oak Gardens Boarding School' they noticed the distort look on his face and changed their minds about the slanging match they were originally going to give him.  
  
"Duo what wrong?" Quatre's ever sweet voice asked in great concern. Duo could only look at his friends with large vulnerable violent eyes. "Leave it guys" he begged them in a broken voice, at the stubborn looks on their faces he added "please." The heart rendering plea stopped all three in their tracks and they silently decided not to push the matter further, tonight anyway.   
  
At Duo's request they were ready to leave the room when a soaking wet Heero Yuy appeared at the room door. The smile on Duo's face at the sight of his beloved was just amazing, but Heero remained as impassive as ever. Duo's face fell, he watched carefully as Heero walked into the bath room, and kept staring at the door until sounds of the shower could be heard.   
  
The others watched this display with confusion. What the hell was going on? Unfortunately for Duo he knew exactly what was going on. Heero has pulled his soldier's mask back on. Duo threatened his control. Heero didn't love him. The realization hit him like a tone of bricks.   
  
Duo got up and motioned for the others to leave, then he burred his head under his pillow, and cried.  
  
  
  
Unfortunately Duo's theory on Heero's behavior was wrong. The scared child that had been abandoned and abused so terrible was still very much there. And that hurting little boy was scared beyond his wits end. He couldn't take anymore pain.   
  
'If you let yourself care about someone, they let you down. If someone says they love you, they want to fuck you' this is what the boy thought as he pulled his ever trusty soldier's mask on and slipped into his dorm room.   
  
The child cried alone in the shower where no one could hear him, he cried. He cried for the parents he couldn't remember. He cried for Odin his first mentor and the man he considered his father. He cried for all the people who's lives he had taken. He cried for the innocent little girl and her puppy. Most of all he cried for the love he would never allow himself to feel.   
  
'Dirty murderers deserve nothing but pain' he told himself. 'I just want this pain to go away' he sobbed. A razor blade caught his eye and before he knew what he was doing he was sinking it into his thigh and running it up to his hip.   
  
The pain was excruciating, but it was good. It was good pain. The type of pain he was in control of. He could smell the metallic sent of his blood and laughed.   
  
He cut diagonally across the cut he'd just made. He watched as his blood flowed from his body and mixed with the water only to me taken down the drain.   
  
'A metaphor for my life' he thought bitterly, as he cleaned up the bloody mess he'd made and bandaged his cherished wound.   
  
As he came out of the bath room and crossed the dorm room to his bed he looked at the boy he would never let himself love. Said bout was fast asleep and puffy, red eyes evidence of how much Heero had hurt him.   
  
Heero couldn't help himself he crossed the room to the beautiful angel's bed and kissed said angel's forehead "Tenshi, Ai Shiteiru, Kokoro" (Angel, I Love You, Mind; Heart; Spirit) escaped his lips as he gazed at the sleeping boy. He cursed himself for thinking such a foolish thought and hurried to his bed. He didn't notice the violent eye that packed at him from beneath the pillow, a confused gleam to it… 'What's going on with him?' Duo thought to himself as he drifted off into a dreamed filled with a certain Japanese pilot.   
  
*** 


	4. Chapter Four

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture! ^_^  
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ^_^) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas *hides* don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear **********************************************************************************************************  
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Four  
  
desperate@hotmail.com  
  
14th July AC 196  
  
Hey Quat,   
  
Look I know I aint emailed ya in a while but I've been busy wot wid da new apartment and all, thx for da money btw…. It was reeeeeeealy nice of u!   
  
Q u've probably guessed dat I need ur help since I do t usually email ya unless I do! ^_^  
  
The thing is me and 'Ro ave been 2getha 4 agggggges and u no I love him and I know he loves me 2 an' all but we ain't done it yet.   
  
I'm askin 4 ur help coz I know u and Trowa are together mind, heart, spirit and body. I want that too!!! I love 'Ro mind heart and spirit and I know he feels the same coz he tells me that when he finks im asleep! But the thing is I want him to take me and let me take him, like a normal relationship should be! U can't have a relationship without sex!!!  
  
I know I'm asking a lot but Q I've tried EVERYTHING! Wot the fuck am I gunna do???  
  
Please reply soon with tooooooooons of suggestions ^_^  
  
Talk 2ya soon Quat  
  
Luv  
  
DUO  
  
P.S tried 2 ring ya several times but ur bitch receptionist wudn't put me thro!!!!  
  
Bored@Winner.org  
  
15th July AC 196  
  
DUO  
  
I need to talk to you instantly, not over e-mail. Go into MSN Chatrooms to room 'D+Q'c P.C!' I set it up a second ago it will b easier for me to talk to you and look like I'm doing work to ALL my sisters!   
  
Come on at about 3:20.  
  
Best regards  
  
QUATRE  
  
***  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
Glad you made it Duo  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
Well i asked for YOUR help Q  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
so what's the problem again?  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
Heero wont sleep with me, i don't think he loves me, i no he cares for me and when he thinks im asleep he says he loves me but if that's true y wont he sleep with me?  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
well duo you and i both know that Heero hasn't experienced much love in his life so maybe he doesn't know what to do. My bet is he's a virgin. And if you consider the fact that he grew up with J you have to realise that it is highly unlikely that J would have given him a crash course in homosexual relations!  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
So what are you saying, that Heero doesn't know what to do?  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
thats exactly what i am saying  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
but if thats true when i staty to seduce him why would he push me away?  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
*start  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
I don't know Duo... do you ever ask anything from him...like say to losen up  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
erm...now that u mention it, yea....y?  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
most people are nervous their first time. I don't think Heero would be an exception. He can't losen up if he's scared now can he!  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
you make a good point there Q  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
wot do u think i sud do?  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
Make it romantic for him, i'm sure i dont need to tell you that Heero loves Jasmine flowers and his favourite food is Italian. Remember he's a vegetarian.   
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
thx Q, I no all that but the thing is that i dont know HOW to make it romantic for him......help!  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
you can never go wrong if you put candles everywhere.... b careful not 2cause fires....candlelit dinner....silk sheets on a large bed......be gentle with him and progress slowly.  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
thats all i can tell you....   
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
o wait no it isnt do alot of kissing and caressing before taking him to your bed so he doesn't feel pressured!  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
ok Q thats great thx ummmm i was thinking of maybe taking him to the beach next month coz he loves the ocean (although the stubborn ass wont admitt it its obvious) do you think that it would be a good idea to carry this plan out then?  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
i think thats an excellent idea duo  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
is that all?  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
yep thx Q  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
do u want me 2 send u some money so u can afford all this?  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
dont u dare! im want this 2 b special 4him a gift from me coz i love him. it wont b so special if its played for by QR Winner now will it! but thx 4 the offer Q its appreciated!"  
  
Missing_Sandrock says:  
  
ok well i better go, let me know how this all turns out ok!  
  
Deathscythe's_Shinigami says:  
  
ok  
  
***  
  
Duo shut down the computer and set about checking Heero and himself into a top class hotel near the beach.   
  
'Now all I need to do is persuade Heero to come, oh well if I have to I'll trick him into going.' He smiled to himself as he left the small apartment they'd been living in since the end of the war.   
  
Despite the initial rocky start Heero and Duo had been together since the middle of the war consequently you would think that they would have consummated their relationship physically. They hadn't and in truth this celibacy was killing Duo. Sure he and Heero had shared some intense make-out sessions but they hadn't given themselves to each other, mind, heart, spirit and body.   
  
But all that was going to chance, soon.   
  
***  
  
It was early August. A lone figure walked alone the golden sands as the clear, blue ocean lapped at his naked ankles.   
  
The sun beamed down on the Japanese youth whom was clad in cut off blue jeans and a partially undone white shirt. His tussled, chocolate-brown hair rustled in the sea breeze and his skin glistened with the slight sweat he'd worked up.   
  
It was dusk and the beach was almost deserted, making this the perfect time for a bit of solitude.   
  
In truth the boy hated to be alone but he had no choice. He'd learnt along time ago to trust no one but yourself. He cared for his boyfriend deeply, maybe even loved him, but that didn't change the mistrust he had for fellow humans.   
  
The boy bent down and picked a shell out of the shimmering ocean. It was a beautiful half Scallop shell. The youth smiled to himself. It was tranquil times like these when he was truly happy.   
  
The boy was staring mesmerized at the shell when a gruff voice came into his head. 'Mane Bivalve Mollusk' with a strangled cry the boy threw his new treasure back into the ocean, its beauty lost to the solider.  
  
'Mane Bivalve Mollusk, the scientific name for a Scallop. Why did that come into my mind? Why did J's voice come into my mind? J never taught me about shells and things to do with nature and the Earth. J's lessons were on war and terrorism.   
  
The Earth is something I was taught about by numerous books.'  
  
Heero was confused. He's been feeling confused a lot since he moved in with a certain destructive force which went by the name Duo Maxwell.   
  
As he pondered this, a strong pair of arms wrapped round his waist and he was pulled to rest against a firmly muscled chest.   
  
He smiled to himself, knowing exactly who was stood behind him. Only one person treated him with such affection and that was the afore mentioned Duo Maxwell.   
  
Duo tilted Heero's head and bestowed a passionate kiss upon his boyfriend's perfect, cinnamon lips. "Let's go back to the hotel" the soft, compassionate voice breathed into Heero's ear.   
  
***  
  
A 10 minute walk later and Duo was unlocking the door to their hotel room, a protective arm around his soon-to-be lover's waist. Heero knew Duo was up to something; his ambiguous boyfriend had had a secretive smirk on his face all day.   
  
Said boyfriend had also insisted on: driving them to their destination, booking them into the hotel -which he did, alone-, and handling all the money. This was odd, when they had done things like this during the war, Duo would always insist on doing absolutely nothing. Heero was starting to get very nervous.   
  
When the door to the room was finally opened, Duo ushered his beloved inside the beautifully romantic room -which he had insisted on checking out before bringing Heero up here-.   
  
The room couldn't really be called a room; it was more of a suite. The main room was decorated tastefully in cream and silver, mahogany furnishings finished the distinguished look.   
  
On further inspection you noticed that the bath room was decorated in blue and white -as is with most bathrooms- and consisted of a toilet, basic and shower. A frosted glass screen door connected this room to the Jacuzzi room, which was a square room with towel racks around the edge and a fairly decent sizes Jacuzzi in the center. A two foot walking space ran around the edge of the gigantic bath.   
  
The master bedroom was decorated in red and white lace. The walls were washed a plain white color with a passionate red border. The king-sized, four-poster bed was raised on a platform and covered in red, silk sheets.   
  
The whole suite was covered in candles and rose petals and on the mahogany table there was there most delicious vegetarian Italian meal.   
  
Duo led Heero to the table where they sat down to eat in silence.   
  
Heero was touched and hurt at the same time. His boyfriend had gone to so much trouble for him but at the same time hadn't been listening to him. Heero had told Duo on many occasions that he didn't feel ready for a physical relationship but it seemed he hadn't been listened to.   
  
A bitter smile touched his lips, 'Just another guy who wants to get into my pants'. Only with this guy it hurt more. He genuinely loved Duo, and the thought that Duo only wanted him for his body hurt.   
  
He looked up at the boy in front of him to see him busying himself with his meal. His heart clenched. He loved Duo. He'd do anything for him. Duo was the love of his life, the one person who at least acted like he truly cared. He would do anything for Duo; he knew it and accepted his fate. He would lose his virginity before the night was over.   
  
He smiled, 'At least I'll lose it to someone special to me'.   
  
It was at that moment that Duo decided to look up. What he saw took his breath away. Heero was smiling at him. It looked like his plan was going to work.   
  
He gave his best smile and then motioned for Heero to eat his food.   
  
When they were done he, again, took Heero's had and lead him to the balcony.   
  
There was one plain white chair on the balcony which he sat in pulling Heero to sit on his lap.   
  
Heero knew this was Duo's favorite seating position, and in truth, it was his to. He snuggled in to the man he loved as they looked out at the now starry sky.   
  
Duo was fascinated. The most beautiful thing was out tonight and he was seated on his lap. Heero looked so beautiful staring up at the stars.   
  
The Japanese youths eyes where big and innocent looking, his features were mapped out perfectly and his rosy lips looked so full under the moon light. When Heero sighed and rested his head upon Duo's shoulder, the American youth felt as it his heart was about to explode.   
  
They stayed like that for quite sometime, until Duo noticed that the amazing boy in his lap was shivering.   
  
"Are you cold 'Ro?" He breathed into his love's ear. "A little" came a shaky reply. That was odd, why did Duo get the distinct impression that Heero was scared? He decided to find out later; first and foremost he wanted to get Heero inside before he caught a cold.   
  
He picked the boy up and carried him into the main room of the suite where he deposited his precious bundle onto the sofa.   
  
Duo then sat next to his boyfriend, who immediately snuggled into his side. It warmed his heart to see Heero, his Heero, like this. The boy's nature off the battle field was so gentle and kind, it was amazing to think that this was the 'perfect soldier'.   
  
Suddenly he felt a weight fall into his lap and looked to see Heero straddling his leg and resting his head in the crooked between Duo's neck and shoulder.   
  
Heero smelled of wild flowers and salt water. A beautifully intoxicating combination. Heero was his addiction. He couldn't get enough of the Japanese pilot.   
  
He was suddenly taken over by a great need. He needed Heero. His plan had worked so far now all he needed to do was get Heero into bed and make them one, mind, heart, soul and body, forever.   
  
"Duo?" Heero was surprised when he looked up and saw lust at those beautiful violet orbs. To Heero's surprise the American pilot pushed forward and captured his lips. Duo devoured Heero's mouth hungrily, full of passion and lust.   
  
Feeling a hope, Duo stuck his tongue in, tasting the moist cavern. He moaned and sucked harder as he felt a great and fabulous sensation when he licked the wet inner tissues there. Possessiveness surged inside him. This sweet cavern belonged to him. Only him. He would never let Heero go!   
  
Finally out of breath, Duo pulled away reluctantly. "What…" Duo's kiss dazed Heero's mind. It felt so good. Hell, Duo's kiss always felt good. But this time it was more intense. Heero had felt fire flare inside him as Duo slipped his tongue inside his mouth. Duo captured Heero's delicate lips again. He devoured and ravished those sweet lips, claiming them as his once again.   
  
Their palms united as Duo entwined his fingers with Heero's. For the Japanese boy, this simple touch felt so nice. Warm and reassuring, as Duo broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Heero's, Heero felt a strong wave of relef. He suddenly felt bad. This was Duo, Duo wouldn't do anything to hurt him! Duo's breath was hot on Heero's face.  
  
Duo detached himself from the Japanese boy and scooping Heero up and carrying him into the master bedroom. "Duo!?" Heero was startled. The braided boy put him on the bed, never taking his gaze off of Heero. "Duo, what are you doing?"   
  
"I want you, Heero." Duo licked his own lips he rested his hands on the bed and bent over Heero. Heero widened his eyes. "Wha...what?" Duo got onto the bed and crawled toward Heero. "I want you, all of you."  
  
"I want you, love you, need you, Heero." Duo stated, breathlessly as his eyes took in the sight of Heero's lithe body, sprawled out on the red, silk sheets of the king-sized bed. Heero's eyes widened further as he realized Duo was hard.   
  
Duo leaned down and kissed Heero. Duo's lips attacked his lips hungrily. "Let me have you, Heero." The braided pilot's lips and tongue assaulted Heero's mouth ferociously. He plundered Heero's mouth and found Heero's tongue. Heero wasn't intending to fight back against the invader inside his mouth, but the way Duo teased and licked managed to make he move his tongue instinctively and join the hot battle.   
  
Heero was panting and didn't know what to say when the question came. "Will you let me have you Heero?"  
  
Heero panted for the air. He could feel Duo's lips brushing his chin. He licked and sucked every inch of Heero's hot cavern, making the Japanese boy moan at the sensation the kiss caused.   
  
Then Duo broke the kiss and nibbled Heero's jaw. His hands stared to rome Heero's body. Snaking their way under the shirt to play with Heero's rapidly hardening nipples.   
  
It was too much for the Japanese boy. Heero panted and tried to breathe steadily. Heero gasped when he felt Duo's lips attacking his throat. It was his weak point and the American pilot seemed to know that for he assaulted Heero's throat over and over, making Heero moan and squirm at the assault. Pleasure coursed inside Heero, swirling up and down. It was so new for him and he wanted more. "Duo.... More.…" Heero gasped as Duo sucked on his shoulder, leaving a red mark on the pale skin.   
  
"Oh yes. More.... I'll show you how much I love you, Heero." Duo murmured huskily. Then he pulled away and attacked the pouting nipples with his teeth and fingers, again. Duo nibbled and pulled one nipple with his teeth while his hand toyed with the other nipple, eliciting moans and gasps from the owner. Duo was satisfied when he felt something hard press on his groin.   
  
Duo removed Heero's half-open shirt and Jeans, the stoic boy didn't protest, he just lay there and let Duo do all he wanted to do. The long haired American shed his clothes wanting to feel Heero's skin against his.   
  
Heero found himself lying naked on the bed with the braided pilot on top of him, staring lustfully at him. Duo dropped his body over Heero again and groaned as their erections met. Finally, he would have Heero.......Duo could feel the heat and the softness of the skin against him, making him purr and attack Heero's lips again.   
  
Slowly, Duo brought down his gaze from Heero's face to study the Japanese youth's lean body. "You are beautiful Heero......My Heero…" Duo's voice was strained with need and his fingers were stroking Heero's nipples, making the Japanese boy gasp loudly. Heero felt like he was being struck by lightning and at the same time being burnt with eternal flame as Duo caressed his hardened nipples. No one had ever touched him like Duo did at the moment. It was so good..... Heero moaned again as Duo twirled his nipples.   
  
Grinding his lower body against Heero's, Duo resumed his exploration, sucking every surface on the silent boy's body and marking it as his.   
  
"Yes, that's right. Moan for me, Heero." Duo growled. He was shocked. He could make this walking wet dream moan?  
  
Heero only could moan and whimper at the sensation of being touched by those fingers. Duo's fingers were soft but yet demanding when exploring, familiarizing, and caressing his body, giving him the pleasure that he never knew before.   
  
Heero gasped as he felt something wet on his hot skin. Duo had replaced his fingers with his tongue and now was sucking on his neck. Heero jerked as Duo planted his teeth on the joint of his shoulder and neck. "Mine" He could hear Duo whisper possessively. Duo's hands were over him, on every part of him, setting him on fire.   
  
Sensory overloaded, Heero's mind was shutting down. He moaned at every stroke, squirming when Duo's tongue found his sensitive area and gasping when he felt Duo sink his teeth into his exposed flesh, again. Heero to jerk up as he felt the pain mingled with pleasure.   
  
After leaving marks on the upper part of Heero's body, Duo's lips trailed down to his navel, placing butterfly kisses along the way. Heero could feel the American ex-pilot's hands snake to his inner thighs.   
  
Heero felt Duo's hand trail lower and brush his private entrance. Knowing what would happen next, Heero bit his lower lip. He spread his legs apart, knowing Duo would soon be inside him soon.   
  
Duo wriggled his way up Heero's body to capture the short-haired boy's lips in a passionate kiss.   
  
Heero was still panting, but he welcomed the intruder, letting Duo explore his mouth once more. Duo was nibbling his bottom lip, causing him slight pain but he didn't care. He only wanted Duo to touch him more. To give him more of something he couldn't decipher.   
  
Then he suddenly felt something push into his back passage. Heero wiggled to get away, but the thing was persistent. He looked down and saw Duo's hand between his parted legs. "Wha.. what are you doing, Duo?"   
  
Duo inserted one finger into Heero's tight entrance and felt the boy beneath him tense. "Relax, Heero. It'll feel good, I promise." Duo whispered in Heero's ear while he pushed his finger deeper inside Heero. Heero's hand reached wildly and found Duo's braid. He clutched it tightly and made it as his only anchor at that time.   
  
The finger was inside him, prodding him. Heero clutched the braid tighter and buried his other hand in the silky sheets. He tried hard to make himself relax as the finger made a twisting motion inside him. Heero told himself that this pain was nothing. He was used to pain; he could take this. Heero focused his senses on Duo's tongue, which was toying with his nipples, trying to block the pain and letting Duo have his way.   
  
Feeling Heero relaxed, Duo inserted a second finger and did a scissor motion, trying his best to stretch Heero. The boy beneath him moaned and gasped as he inserted the third finger. Tight, Heero was really tight. Duo could feel his fingers so clamped down that they could barely move.   
  
"So tight." Duo's harsh breath brushed Heero's face. "I can't wait to have you, Heero."   
  
"Oh..ah.." White pleasure struck the Japanese boy like lightning. Instead of whimpering, Heero moaned every time the fingers brushed his prostate, sending sparks that made his eyes blind and making his body want to feel more of the touch. Pain forgotten, Heero began to thrust back into the fingers, opening himself for the invasion.   
  
Feeling Heero had thrust back, Duo pulled away his fingers  
  
Heero whimpered at the loss. His whimper however was soon stopped by Duo's mouth as the braided boy attacked Heero's mouth. He sucked long and then licked every inch of the hot cavern, sparring with Heero's tongue.   
  
Heero felt as if his lungs were on fire but Duo kept assaulting his mouth. It was a few seconds later when Duo finally broke the kiss. The American boy arranged Heero's legs to get better access to Heero's opening, spreading them as wide as they could. Heero was still panting to catch his breath when he felt something press at his opening.   
  
Feeling Heero relax enough, Duo spread Heero's legs, poising his aching cock on Heero's entrance.   
  
"Duo...what...?"   
  
"Shh... it's going to hurt a little."   
  
A second later Duo entered him. Heero bit his lower lips as he felt the ring of muscle give way to Duo's aching arousal. He spread his legs wider to accommodate Duo's size and clawed at the sheets.   
  
Who said it'd hurt a little? That's definitely not a little. Pain and surprise managed to make a scream and find its way out of Heero's mouth when Duo's arousal penetrated his body, forcing its way into his warm, tight, silken passage in one swift motion and driving all the pleasure he once felt away.   
  
"Oh Heero! I love you." Duo buried himself into the hilt inside the writhing boy. "God, I have been waiting for this moment. You're so tight." The braided boy let out a satisfied grunt and started rocking inside the Japanese boy.   
  
"Mine..... Forever mine." Duo whispered huskily and slowly pressed forward. Heero's tight passage clamped him, making Duo groan in pleasure. He pushed slowly, burying his cock deeper inside Heero inch by inch and moaned at the sensation he felt. Heero was tight and warm, like a sanctuary for him. "Oh, God.....Heero..." Duo threw his head back as he felt Heero's inner tissues brushing his aching cock.   
  
The boy beneath him tossed his head from side to side and gasped in pain. Duo kissed him again and swallowed Heero's gasp as the head finally passed the resistance and settled inside Heero. There he stopped, waiting for the boy beneath him to adjust before pressing deeper into the boy.   
  
Tears appeared at the corner of Duo's eyes. He never thought he would have so many wonderful sensations as he pushed himself deeper inside Heero. He was inside Heero........ sheathed by him........ Duo let out a growl and pushed hard, missing the gasping pain from the boy beneath him.   
  
He steadied himself and looked at Heero. The stoic boy was panting and looking at him. Duo smiled and kissed Heero lightly. "You are mine now, Heero. Forever."   
  
Heero opened his mouth and let Duo in, accepting his tongue in the same way as he accepted Duo inside him. No resistance..... just acceptance.... He concentrated in fighting Duo's tongue and felt his inner muscles relax, accepting Duo in him.   
  
When Duo reached his prostate, Heero felt the pain inside him soon became dull throbs and then replaced by pleasure. The stoic boy gasped and moaned as Duo touched his prostate over and over. He thrust back to meet Duo's thrust and followed Duo's rhythm. He would not regret this.   
  
A part of Heero had wanted to push the braided baka away and make a break for it but another deeper part of him didn't want to push Duo away. That part wanted to be as close to Duo as he could. To feel Duo's chest pressing against his, the callous hands caressing his body, and those lips prodding his mouth, bringing him into ecstasy. That part told him to let Duo do whatever the braided boy wanted to him. Why though? Why he was letting Duo do as he liked to him?   
  
"Try to relax, Heero." Heero heard Duo whisper and then felt a tongue licking his chest. Duo's tongue, which teasing his nipples at the moment helped him to relax. Slowly, he felt his body adjust to Duo's cock and loosened his grip on Duo's head.   
  
Feeling Heero had adjusted to his cock, Duo stopped licking and lifted his head from Heero's chest. The American pilot began to move again. First, he thrust slowly and then got harder, driving Heero up against the headboard. Heero's tightness seemed to give Duo incredible pleasure as the American pilot repeated his thrusts faster.   
  
Still kissing Heero, Duo grabbed the boy's erection and started rocking in the same rhythm as he pumped Heero's cock. First it began slowly and then it got faster and harder. He even pulled out completely and impaled the boy back in a hard and fast thrust, prodding the sensitive spot inside the boy, which made Heero jump and arch his back to meet Duo's thrusts.   
  
It was too much for the stoic boy. He never thought he would get so much pleasure like this. Duo now almost constantly hit something inside him that sent waves of pleasure to every part of his body. He could feel himself rapidly reach the edge as Duo pumped him faster.   
  
His legs hugged the boy's waist tightly. "Duo," Heero sighed. Duo was touching him, Duo was kissing him, and Duo was inside him. It brought fire all over his body, burning him in sea of passion and pleasure.   
  
"I. Love. You." Duo punctuated the words with each thrust. He impaled the Japanese boy on his cock faster and harder, still trying to get inside him deeper. Unable to stand any longer at the stimulation outside and inside him, Heero came, spilling his seed on his and Duo's stomachs and crying out Duo's name unconsciously. Once again he was blinded by the white ecstasy that sparked before him.   
  
Duo purred at hearing his name and impaled the orgasming boy harder, slamming into Heero two times more, Duo found his cock being clamped tighter. He heard Heero groan as the stoic boy exploded in his hand, spilling his seed on his stomach. Duo felt the possessiveness become stronger in him. Heero was his. Belonged to him. "Mine." With a growl, which was similar to an animal claiming its prey, Duo rammed one last time inside Heero and reached his release, filling Heero with his essence.   
  
Still dazed from post orgasmic session, Heero gasped as he felt hot liquid shoot and splash on his inner muscles, filling him and eliciting some more sensations from his sated body. He heard Duo growl possessively and felt Duo tighten his hands on his hips as the braided boy filled him more.   
  
Heero felt full and he knew he belonged to Duo now, that Duo had claimed and marked him.   
  
Heero was still panting. He could feel Duo's cock soften inside him and then was surprised when Duo thrust his hips into him playfully. "Duo?"   
  
"Hmm......you are an addiction, you know." Duo smiled down to his startled lover. "So warm....tight.." He wiggled his hips and watched as Heero gasped at the sensation. He leant down and licked Heero from clean of his own come. "...and delicious too."   
  
Heero was mesmerized by the sight before him. Duo above him, tasting him. This was the best time of his life. Never has anyone wanted him like this, to be with him and care for him. He was overwhelmed by the flowing emotions. Combined with the heat of Duo's passion, he felt himself melt. ".....A...arigato..."   
  
Duo smiled again. It was him who was supposed to say thanks since Heero had given him what he wanted from the stoic boy.   
  
As Duo plopped down onto his chest, Heero released the braid in his hand in resignation. It was over.   
  
Duo ran his hand and wiped away the sweat from Heero's face. He leant down and kissed Heero lightly. "Mine."   
  
Heero just looked long at him before he finally spoke up. "Aa....yours.." He smiled slightly, still looking at Duo's face and savoring his situation right now. This was where he wanted to be. In Duo's arms, being hugged by him, the person who cared for and loved him.   
  
Duo smiled as he saw Heero smile. Heero's smiles were extremely rare and to see his new lover smile like this was just magical. He didn't know what he had done to deserve Heero as lover, but one thing was for sure, he would kill if it was what he had to in order to keep Heero as his.   
  
"Heero...." Still on top of Heero, Duo brushed his nose against Heero's neck. His hand reached up and caressed Heero's cheek. He swept the stray pieces of now-damp-brown hair near his cheek. "You are really wonderful. I love you."   
  
Heero was still panting. He could feel Duo's body on top of him, Duo's softened flesh inside him, and Duo's lips kissing his face gently. He purred pleasantly at the contact and stayed still, trying to hold the sensations as long as he could. However the wonderful pleasure slowly ebbed and brought him back from the high place he was before.   
  
At the Japanese boy's sigh, Duo lifted his head and smiled at Heero before kissing his nose affectionately. "My sweet Heero.....All mine..." Duo purred and then yawned. "I'm tired, come on, let's sleep, now."   
  
The American pilot settled next to Heero and gathered the Japanese boy into his arms. They lay spooned together, Heero's back against' Duo's chest.   
  
Suddenly Duo threw one leg over Heero's thigh and tightened his hug, murmuring possessively in his sleep. "Mine...." At hearing the word Heero felt something warm fluttering inside him. Duo loved him, Duo wanted him. He never thought there would be someone who would want him by their side, who would want to look at him as a human rather than a soldier.   
  
He snuggled back into his boyfriends arms and let sleep claim him too. If this wasn't real he didn't care. For the first time in his 16(ish) years of life he was happy… 


	5. Chapter Five

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture! ^_^  
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ^_^) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas *hides* don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear **********************************************************************************************************  
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Five  
  
AC200  
  
Relena Dorlain was sat in her office as usual when the phone call she'd been waiting for for over three years came through. "We've found him" the expert computer hacker on the other end of the telephone line told the ex-queen.  
  
"Where is he" she inquired in a clipped tone, which cleverly masked the excitement in the 20 year old vice-foreign minister.   
  
"We traced his address from hospital records from St.John's hospital on L1. Before you go to see him I must warn you that the records say that he has an advanced form of cancer, and may not wish to see you, ma'am."   
  
"He may not wish to see me, but he's going to! Thank you very much for the information Joseph, but what I chose to do with it is not you concern. Good Day."  
  
Relena sat back in her chair after disconnecting the call. After three years of searching they'd finally found him. Heero Yuy was no longer the lost gundam pilot as he had been nicknamed some time ago.   
  
She grabbed the phone and rang round the four other pilots. Over the years the five of them had become close. She was especially close to Duo. Heero's disappearance had hit them both hard.  
  
She suspected that Duo and Heero's relationship was more than platonic friendship but the matter was never approached.   
  
She loved Heero. He was like a brother to her. He had been ever since they were 11. She knew he didn't remember her, or anything much about his escape attempt when he was younger, but she remembered him. She'd sworn to him that she would always be there for him and protect him. She'd broken that promise when Heero had been recaptured. She wasn't going to break it again.   
  
She called Lady Une and asked for a presenters shuttle to L1 to be made available for her and four passengers as soon as possible and respectfully but forcefully asked that Wufei Chang, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton and Duo Maxwell be given time off.   
  
All request where granted and by 6p.m. that night they were on a shuttle heading for Heero.   
  
***  
  
As they entered the hospital, memories flooded the four gundam pilots. Memories that were none to pleasant. The walls were whitewashed and a strong smell of disinfectant clung to the air like superglue. Behind the reception desk sat the lone figure of Nurse Collins.  
  
She was a gentle soul but after 30 odd years in the job had lost so much faith in humanity. She had been a nurse in a military hospital during the war and subsequently had seen more young men lose their lives for fruitless battles than she cared to remember.   
  
Relena approached the reception desk in diplomatic mode. "Hello, I am here to enquire about patient. His name is Heero Yuy and I believe he is receiving treatment here. I was wondering if you could please direct us to his room"  
  
"Are you family" they brown-eyed nurse asked.  
  
"No but we're as close as family… Please could you just let us see him, even for just a few minutes?!" Relena pleaded.  
  
"If you're not family then I'm afraid I can't. Why don't you just run along home." was the Nurses extremely condescending reply.   
  
"Look, we just want to see Heero. We NEED to know if he's going to be ok, we just need like five minutes. So why don't you just tell us where his room is? You don't even have to get off you fat ass to do that!!!" an extremely angry Shinigami interrupted.   
  
Just then a young blonde nurse appeared from round the corner. She was wearing a sky blue uniform and a gentle smile. Duo was reminded greatly of Sister Helen.  
  
The blue clad angel walked, almost floated, up to the group and gave them a huge smile. "So you're here to see 'Ro are you?"  
  
When they nodded her already inhumanly large smile grew. "Here, let me take you through."  
  
A grunt of protest could be herd down the corridor. Until they reached room 626- Heero Yuy.   
  
***  
  
They stood outside the door, unsure of what they would find inside. What was wrong with Heero? See Would he be happy to them? A million questions flew through their minds but each knew that there was only one way to gain answers to those questions, and than was to open the door.   
  
As they entered the room they were struk with a very disderbing fact… the room was in fact empty.   
  
The young Nurse ran in and looked around frantically, "NOT AGAIN!!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her calm dimena flying right out the locked window of Heero Yuy's vacant room.  
  
She ran out in to the corridor barking orders to the other nurses as she went.   
  
The five followed her as she ran into a young woman who appeared to be about their age. She wore dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. The front of the t-shirt was occupied by a smile face, with it tounge hanging out. Her shoulder length red hair was casually tied back into a high ponytail and training shoues incased her petit feet.   
  
She smiled at the nurse "Don't worry Candy, he's just… ummm…. Taking a little walk…" she smiled.   
  
The nurse scoffed "Yea, yea Tiff. I believe you, thousands wouldn't! Now tell me what's he really up to".  
  
Tiff laughs "Ok, so you've got me. He's kinda in the nurse's station 'borrowing' your computer" she winked.   
  
"Oh and why would he be doing that?!"  
  
"Because you wonderful people are keeping him in here when he hates hospitals. You refused to let him bring his beloved laptop. Oh and you won't let Nam' stay for more than five minutes! What kind of hospital are your running here any way! All he wants is to be allowed to go home for god's sake. He's not going to get better from having all this fucking shit done to him, so why can't you just let the poor bastard go home and spend his final months with his FAMILY?!" Tiff was suddenly extremely angree.   
  
"Look Tiff just calm down. If it was up to me 'Ro would be home, but it's not up to me. It's you to the Doctor. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go drag him back to his room now. Why don't you go get Gracey and Namida and bring them up here to see him for a while?"  
  
"Ok…"  
  
As Tiff made her way beck downstairs, Nurse Candy turned to the five people stood behind her and smiled. "If you would like to wait in the room I'll just be a sec'." with that she walked off.   
  
A few minutes later she returned with a thoroughly pissed looking Heero Yuy. Heero looked slightly pale and very tired. He was wearing his usual faded blue jeans, that good old green tank top but there was an addition to the outfit, a white and blue baseball cap which he wore backwards.   
  
The nurse pushed Heero onto the bed "Stay, there's a good boy. Heero want a cookie?"   
  
"Oh go suck Nurse Collins's tites, bitch!"  
  
"Why Mr Yuy is that any way to speak to a lady"  
  
"Oh my god! You're a lady? Why was I not informed?!!" The sarcasum dripped from Heero's voice.  
  
Nurse Candy laughed. A rich sweet sound that filled the room. Heero pouted. The four ex-pilots and Relena stared on in shock. Was this really the stoic Heero Yuy AKA The Perfect Solider that they had relied on during the wars?  
  
Heero seemed to suddenly notice the presence of the five people he had at one point called his family.   
  
"What are you guys doing here?" He asked in total wonder.   
  
Relena smiled. "We've been looking for you for almost three years, and that's all you can say… Do I get a hug or what?"  
  
Heero smiled and opened his arms, which she prompty ran into. "I missed you"   
  
"Missed you too 'Lena"   
  
The five settled in the room. Heero stretched out on the bed while Duo was perched on the bedside table. The chairs were currently occupied but Quatre and Relena, Wufei was sat cross legged on the end of the bed while Trowa was lent against the opposite wall.   
  
The six talked about old times and what paths their lives had taken.   
  
***  
  
The door to Heero's room was thrown open and in ran a three your old girl.   
  
Her long chestnut-streaked-chocolate-brown hair was tied back in two long braids which reached down to her knees. She was wearing black jeans and a sky blue t-shirt. Embroided on the front t-shirt was a black scythe and on the back a pair of white wings.   
  
She abruptly stopped when she entered the room. Her big, bright, innocent blue eyes taking in all the unfamiliar faces.   
  
Heero smiled at her as she began to back off. "Don't be afraid. These people sure are ugly but they're not as scary as they look."  
  
Tearful blue eyes turned to him as a little voice asked "promise?"  
  
"I promise" with that the little girl slowly and carefully made her way to the side of the bed. Heero reached down and pulled her up to sit on his lap.   
  
"Ok, so what had you running in here like a headless chicken?"   
  
"Doesn't matter" the girl wouldn't look him in the eye, so Heero decided that this caused for drastic measures. He started to tiggle the little bundle on his lap sensless.   
  
The girl squealed with laughter "Stop giggle it gasp…Come on, please giggle, gasp STOP!"  
  
"Not untill you tell me what's up" Heero laughed. The girl was so cute. Just like her father he thought wistfully. Then trampled that thought before it had chance to properly form.   
  
"Ok, ok I'll tell you" she squealed again.   
  
Heero smiled in triumph. He stopped tiggling and looked intently at that honey colored heart shaped face. "Ok then, lets hear it."  
  
The girl smiled. Then she hit him round the back of the head. Suddenly the innocent little girl looked extremely angree. She leveled him with a glare that could rival his own.   
  
"Hey Nammy, what was that for?" He asked indignantly.   
  
"That was coz you be bad… You need be puni~sheded"   
  
"How have I been bad, and since when do I hit you when you need to be punished?"  
  
"Ok, me sworry for hit. Nurse Candy tell me to do it. You… no loud watch TV for week. And you be bad coz you try leave ho~pital without being told to! You been bad Papa!"  
  
"No TV!" Heero made a sad puppy dog eye look. "Have I really done anything that bad?"   
  
Just as Namida was about to give in and say that he didn't have to be banned from TV a voice from the door way stopped her. "Don't fall for it Nam', he's just trying to trick you." The woman from earlier stood there smiling. A little girl by her side.   
  
The child had green eyes and shoulder length green hair, just like her mother. She wore blue jeans and a blue top. In her had she held a doll.   
  
The little girl on Heero's lap smiled at the two new additions to Heero's room.   
  
Tiff walked over to Heero's bed and then bowed down, presenting a package to him. "Oh great one. I am Tiff, caretaker of two small girls and I have traveled far a wide across the great white hospital to bring you this, the great and mystical release forms!"  
  
Heero couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. After his great fir of hysterics was over he smiled at Tiff "Are you serious? How did you manage this?".   
  
Tiff just smiled. "Lets just say that I have friends in high places with big mouths ok?"   
  
"'k! Yes, I finally get to go home. Here that Nammy, I'm coming home with you tonight?!"  
  
Just then the large Nurse from earlier appeared.  
  
***  
  
Nurse Collins had been sat in the nurses office when a red haired woman had stormed in and demanded than Heero Yuy be released. The woman had put forward a very good case as to why a patient that wouldn't benefit from any treatment here should be allowed to go home. The clincher from her argument was to let lose with a little bit of information which the Nurse had not know.   
  
Heero Yuy was gundam pilot.   
  
Nurse Collins had always admired the Gundam Pilots and all they stood for. Meeting one had been a dream of hers since they had made themselves a formidable enemy of OZ.   
  
She had been treating one of her idols for about 6months and she hadn't even known!   
  
Upon entering the room the first thing she noticed was that the room was rather crouded.   
  
There was a woman stood by the bed, a woman sat by the bed, a man lent against a wall, a man sat on a chair, a man sat Indian style on the end of the bed, a man sat on the bedside cabinate, a little girl sat on the floor by the bed playing with a strange looking doll, and a little girl sat on Mr Yuy's lap with her arms around his neck and a feirce loom in her eye.   
  
Nurse Collins was taken aback. The little girl looked like she was trying to protect the man from the nurse. That was odd. Who as that child. This of course was a question that almost everyone in the room was silently asking.   
  
***  
  
When Nurse Collins had entered the room, Namida had thrown her arms around Heero. No more horrible Nurses where going to stop him from coming home with her, and that was that.   
  
"Hello Nurse Collins, is there something you wanted?" Heero asked, polite as ever.  
  
"…ummm… Yes, actually. First of all I would like to know who gave clearence for you to have so many visitors in one go… and let children in here."   
  
"Now, now Nurse. Do I look like a grass to you? Sorry but no one let all these people in at once, I guess the receptionist must be doing a bad job at keeping track of my visitors comings and goings. Who was on reception today by the way because if I were you I'd sack them." Heero smirked, he knew all too well who had been on reception that day.   
  
The middle-age nurse blushed. "Never mind that. You can't have all these visitors, it's against hospital policy."   
  
Heero smirked again, like he cared about that. He had missed the other pilots and Relena. He'd missed Duo, he hated to admit that, but he had. "I'm sorry nurse, it will never happen again. I am going home today after all."  
  
"Be that as it may Mr Yuy, I still cannot allow you to have this many visitors."  
  
Just as Heero was about to reply, a little voice cut in. "That's a stupid rule and I think your lieing. If that were true then how come they let people on other wards have as many visitors as they like. I think you just want to make the people or your ward sad, because your sad."  
  
The nurse spulttered as Heero styfled a laugh. Te others in the room all gazed at the child in shock.   
  
"Well I never" was all the nurse manage to say before a look of great anger crossed her plump features.   
  
"Well now you have" Heero's reply shoucked the others in the room more then the little girls outburst.   
  
"And to think that I actually believed that YOU could be a Gundam Pilot!" she huffed.   
  
"You what?" Heero was surprised at that. "Who told you I was a gundam pilot?"  
  
"Doesn't matter, it was oviously a lie."   
  
"No, it wasn't" the other little girl burst out. "He was 01. Wing pilot. Mommy told me. Mommy's ALWAYS right!"   
  
Heero sighed. "Thanks Tiff, so much for 'tell me I can keep a secret, I swear!' what else have you been telling people huh?"  
  
"I haven't told anyone anything! I told the kids, they had a right to know who you were. I told this stupid woman here" she pointed at Nurse Collins "because she has a gundam obsession and I thought it might help you get those release papers!"  
  
"So its true, you were a Gundam Pilot?" The nurse seemed excited all over again.   
  
"Yes, he was a gundam pilot." Duo spoke up. He was fed up of this. He wanted to get Heero back. He wanted to find out who this woman and these kid were. He was going to get answers, now! "I was a gundam pilot to, like all the men in this fu~eee~lippin' room , ok!"   
  
Tiff and the Nurse where both shocked. The little girl on the floor looked round in awe where as the girl in Heero's lap mearly snuggled closer to the war body holding her.  
  
"Ok so now you know we were Gundam Pilots what do you want?"  
  
The nurse could do nothing but stare in shock. Duo was really pissed now.   
  
"Alright then, let me introduce myself. I am Duo Maxwell AKA Shinigami AKA Pilot 02. Pilot of Deathscythe and Deathscythe Hell." He points at Trowa "That's Trowa Barton AKA pilot 03. Pilot of Heavyarms." He waves his had in Quatre's general direction "That's Quatre Raberba Winner AKA pilot 04. Pilot of Sandrock." He nods his head towards Wufei "That's Chang Wufei (or Wufei Chang if your not familiar with Chinese custum) AKA pilot 05. Pilot of Shenlong and Altron." Duo took a breath and then laid his had on Heero's shoulder "And Heero Yuy here AKA The Perfect Solider AKA pilot 01 piloted Wing and Wing Zero and was the only man to fully master the ZERO system." He took a calming breath "Anthing else you'd like to know ma'am?"  
  
Nurse Collins shook her head and prompty left the room. The long haired youth scared her. There had been a madness in his eyes. He was on the edge. She had seen that look on may young soldiers during the war. That was the look they got when they were told there was a chance they could lose everything. But what was this young man about to lose? She decided that she didn't want to know.   
  
***  
  
Duo was on edge. It was time for answers. 'Ok so one down. One to go' He thought to himself.   
  
"Ok so that takes care of her. Now I don't know about the rest of you but I'm a bit confused here. Heero you mind introducing us to this lovely lady and cute little girls before I go insane from trying to guess who they are?"   
  
Heero smiled 'Same old Duo' "Ok Duo since you look like you about to explode. Let me introduce my neighbour, slash friend, slash sister, slash pain in my neck…Latiffa Roberts. The little girl on the floor in Gracey Roberts, Tiff's Daughter. This demon on my lap is" Heero looks at her and she smiles up at him then extends a had towards Duo.   
  
"Hello, my name is Namida Yuy. It's a pleasure to meet you." 


	6. Chapter Six

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture!   
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas hides don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear   
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Six  
  
A lone figure was stood in the garden smoking a cigarette. He did not look happy. Soon after another figure joined the first. He to did not look happy.   
  
"Got a fag I could scrounge Duo?" Heero asked. They needed to talk. Even if Duo hated him he had to tell Duo the truth. If he died he wanted to know that Nam would be ok. For that to happen he had to tell Duo his secret.   
  
"Why don't you go back to your family?"  
  
"Because we need to talk"  
  
"I have nothing to say to you Heero"  
  
"Maybe not but I have something I need to say"  
  
"And why should I listen? You cheated on me Heero. Why should I trust anything you have to say?"  
  
"Huh? What do you mean I cheated on you?" Now Heero was confused.   
  
"The date of Namida's birth means that she must have been conceived when we where still together! Don't even try to deny it Yuy! I can actually do math!"  
  
"I wasn't going to deny it Duo… But it's not what you think."  
  
"Oh yea?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Oh do share Yuy! I just want to know how you have a child who was conceived when we were together but you didn't manage to cheat on me!"  
  
"Her name is Namida Helen Maxwell-Yuy, and She's your daughter Duo. Yours and mine"  
  
"What? How is that possible?! I don't believe it. Your lying! Don't fucking lie to me Yuy!"  
  
"Duo I'm not fucking lying! I gave birth to her, ok!" Heero suddenly felt ashamed. No, he will not be ashamed of his daughter. The one good thing he ever done in his life. He no longer cared about the look Duo was giving him. That look that made him feel like scum. It was the same look he received most nights when he went to work.   
  
He looked up at Duo. Eyes full of resolve. "Duo, just hear me out ok. Then what ever you decide I will respect."  
  
Duo could only nod. Did Heero honestly expect him to believe this shit?   
  
"Ok, so firstly I'm dieing Duo. I have Leukemia, I'll be dead before my 22nd birthday, maybe even my 21st. No I'm not telling you this because I want pity. I'm telling you this because like it or not you are Namida's father and when I'm gone it would be nice to know that you'll be there to bring her up."  
  
"Your serious about this aren't you? How is it possible for you to give birth. I mean I KNOW you're a guy! What the fuck is going on here!"  
  
Heero sighed. " Ok Duo I'll tell you the whole story. Please don't interrupt me because I'm only going to say this once. If you don't like any of this I really don't care. This is what happened and you can't change that!"  
  
Flashback  
  
"Hello, how can I help you?" The woman behind Dr Sutten's reception desk seemed nice enough . She was cheery, just like Duo. Heero hated it.   
  
"I am here to see Doctor Sutten. The name's Yuy."  
  
"Okay, the doctor is waiting for you Mr Yuy, go straight through."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Heero had been feeling ill for weeks, which was strange because he never got sick. Dr Sutten was the doctor that had taken care of him during those dark days with J. Heero didn't exactly trust Sutten, he didn't trust anyone, but he knew he could count on him.   
  
Jeffery Sutten was a fat little man with receding hair lose. He had once been a solider but you wouldn't think it to look at him. His whitening ginger hair has pulled back into a short pony tail which was secured with an emerald green elastic band. The overall look of the doctor suggested that he had been quite good looking in his youth, it's just a shame these looks didn't continue to old age. At the grand old age of 56 Jeff was most certainly thinking of retirement. Most people would start to except their new found seniority but sadly not Jeff. He still insisted on going to rock concerts and even under his white coat he was wearing an Iron Maiden T-shit. The band being severely out of fashion and before even his time.   
  
"Hello Kid, it's been a long time." Sutten smiled, he'd always liked this kid. It was just a shame about all the trauma the poor boy had been thought.   
  
"Hello Doctor. How are you?"  
  
"Well I'm fine Kid or should I call you Heero now?"  
  
Offering his long time doctor a small smile, Heero answered "Which ever is fine" .  
  
"Well as pleasant as this is I trust you came to see me for a reason." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. This is why Heero liked this man. He was direct just like him.   
  
"Yes. I have had a lot of trouble keeping my food down which is strange considering how you and J fixed my blood so I couldn't get sick."  
  
The doctor frowned He hated being reminded of his part in Heero's misfortune.   
  
"Well lets have a look at you then."  
  
All tests came up negative and they were just waiting for the blood test results when Heero had another one of his vomiting fits.   
  
Sutten frowned. What was going on with this kid?!  
  
The blood test results provided that answer. Sutten's frown deepened, this couldn't be right. After an hour of checking and double checking he decided to try to determined how this was possible.   
  
He got his answer.  
  
With a sigh he called the extremely astonished, but trying not to show it, Heero into his office.   
  
"Sit down Heero. Don't say a word until I've finished, ok?"  
  
Heero could only nod.  
  
"Your blood tests show that the drugs injected into your system by OZ have reacted to the drugs which were already in your system.   
  
These drugs were implanted in you by J and myself to stop you from falling ill. The reaction of the drugs have contaminated one of your sperm cells, morphing it into an ovum.   
  
Now judging from what I have found, I would say that you have recently had sexual intercourse with a male, as the egg cell has been fertilized.   
  
In short…you're pregnant Heero."  
  
"WHAT!!!"  
  
"Your pregnant" Heero was in hysterics but the doctor was his usual calm, calculating self. Jeff knew that Heero needed to calm down or he could hurt himself and the baby. From his past experience with Heero he had learnt that long complicated speeches relaxed him. Jeff took a deep breath and began.  
  
"You are pregnant Heero. If you would like I can run some more tests, get an ultra sound in but none of this will change the fact that you are eight weeks pregnant.  
  
Heero there are very few options open to you. Ideally I would like to get you to have an abortion, but I don't think you'll do that. You should be able to carry the baby full term, but in order to deliver you'll need to have a C-section.   
  
I should warn you that the pregnancy will, almost certainly, be very painful for you as you are not build to carry a child. I want to stress that with any decision you make I'll be here to support and guide you. "  
  
Heero looked at him with Prussian eyes of determination "I want to keep my baby." Half way through Suttten's speech Heero had excepted that he was going to be a mother. After all worse and stranger things had happened to him.   
  
The doctor smiled, he's expected this. Heero was a very compassionate young man. He was never meant to be a killer, that was Doctor J and Odin Lowe's doing.   
  
In the days that followed Heero sank into depression. He was alone, penniless and pregnant. He contemplated killing himself several times but just couldn't go through with it. He had a life growing inside him. A life that depended solely on him to keep it alive. Just by killing himself he would be destroying this innocent life. He would be murdering his unborn child.   
  
He had no choice. He decided he had to go back to Duo.   
  
Heero had every intension of telling Duo about the pregnancy, he really did, but just as he plucked up the courage, Mariemeia and the Barton Foundation popped up with a plot to destroy peace.   
  
A four month pregnant Heero fought against the Barton Foundation. He fought for the baby growing inside him that he almost miscarried during that fight. He fought for the world that repeatedly turned its back on him and he fought to Duo, whom he knew could never love him.   
  
He fought and then he ran. Away from everyone. To protect his child, so he wouldn't have to fight again. So Duo wouldn't hate him. So he wouldn't have to hear Duo call him a freak and say that he didn't love him.   
  
He chose to be alone. Well not exactly alone, he had his child. His only shot at a loving family.   
  
Family. He'd given up all hopes and dreams of ever having one but now…   
  
Now he had one. How could he hate Dr J for torturing him or Oz for trying to kill him or even Duo for using him. A combination of these upsetting events had lead to this. They had lead to his salvation.   
  
His child.   
  
On the 19th May AC 197 Namida [Tear] Helen Maxwell-Yuy was born.   
  
"My dear child, you will never know you middle name or your true last name. I hope you can forgive me.   
  
It's just that you father doesn't love me and I don't want to hurt him by making him feel that he has to be with me because of you. I am a weak man, but for you. I will try to be stronger.   
  
I have given you this name because I want you to have something of your father's, even if you'll never know him.   
  
You are named 'Namida' because I have a Japanese name and I think you should also. Namida means Tear, I chose it because you are born from my tears like a phoenix from the ashes.   
  
You are named 'Helen' after the woman your Father, Duo, thought of as his mother and your last name is a hyphenated version of both your parents names.   
  
I promise that you will be the most cherished and loved little girl in the whole of the Earth's sphere.   
  
Aishiteru, my miracle child."  
  
End Flashback  
  
Duo started wide eyed as Heero ran off crying. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He knew Heero wasn't lying but the heartbroken look in his eyes.   
  
He, Duo Maxwell, had been a father for three years and hadn't even known. He knew he had hurt Heero but he couldn't work out how.   
  
Duo punched the wall of the house 'Damn, how the fuck am I supposed to deal with this?! I'm a father and I in someway lead Heero to believe I didn't love him! HOW THE FUCK DO I KEEP FUCKING UP THIS BADLY?!!!' 


	7. Chapter Seven

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture!   
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas hides don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear   
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
It was a dark night. The apartment block that Heero and Tiff lived in was one of the luckier ones on L1 as it had a small garden.   
  
She was stood in the garden amongst the beautiful roses which seemed to hold a dark beauty in the semi-dark L1 night.   
  
He approached her silently, unconsciously in stealth mode. "what are you doing out here?" he asked, his tenor voice disturbing the silence of the garden and making her jump slightly.   
  
"Thinking" she answered, her voice soft, almost wistful.   
  
He knew that if the usually feisty female was this thoughtful then there was something big on her mind. "About?" he had a stranger feeling, a vibe that told him he needed to push, told him that he needed to know.   
  
"Heero."  
  
He'd expected that answer, he didn't know why, but he had. "Oh, care to share?"  
  
She didn't but she wasn't about to admit that. Not to the guy her 'brother' was in love with. Not to her 'niece's' father. "I'm just worried. I hope he's okay, L1 is a cruel place Duo. I've lived here my whole life and this shit hole has never improved. I think it's actually started to go downhill since the war. People are afraid of the change, but change is what's so desperately needed for this world to attain true peace."  
  
He smiled, that sounded like something Heero would say. This girl sounded just like a Gundam Pilot. She understood human nature and what was involved in achieving and maintaining true peace. He didn't like this topic he knew that of he got too into it the possibility of him scaring this girl away was high. She was Hero's 'sister'. Her and Heero were close and Namida seemed to like her by alienating himself for this girl he could destroy any chance of getting Heero back. He believed what Heero had said about Namida but that didn't make it easy to except. He had started to think of Namida as his but it was hard. He would do anything to keep her from hating him. He decided to move the conversation on to something a little less controversial.   
  
"Yea, I know what you mean there're too many whores on this colony. I wouldn't want to raise a child here!"  
  
A soon as he said it he felt like a hypocrite. He knew what it was like to be so desperate for money to feed yourself and your friends but have no means of obtaining it except for selling your body. He couldn't admit this to her, she'd hate him. He'd spent almost his whole life listening to people piss and moan about whores he could certainly handle one more time with a girl he was trying to become friends with.  
  
Tiff suddenly went from staring into space to staring dagger at Duo. "Sometimes, Maxwell" She hissed "There are no other options!"  
  
Duo was shocked, this wasn't the reaction he'd expected. 'Why' she got so defensive? She doesn't… sell herself…does she?'  
  
"Tiff, I didn't mean to offend you. I was just merely pointing out that it must be horrible for you and Heero to have to raise Grace and Namida here, with so many perverts around."  
  
The anger in her eyes still hadn't gone, though it had faded, slightly. "Duo where exactly do you think Heero and I have the money to raise our children AND have Heero treated from?!"  
  
'Oh no! She really does, doesn't she.' Duo was terrified now. No one should have to sell their body to survive!   
  
"what do you mean?…You don't… I mean… I have no problem with it…but do you…erm… do you-"  
  
Tiff cut him off before he could continue.   
  
"No I don't. My husband left me a reasonable amount of money. It is just about enough to keep the two of us alive until Gracey is old enough to attend school while I work!"  
  
Duo was relieved, unfortunately for him his relief showed which resulted in renewing Tiff's anger.   
  
'He's judging people before he even knows what their situation is! Why the fuck is 'Ro in love with this loser?! I can't let this guy know 'Ro's secret.' Tiff sighed 'I suppose I'll just let him think what ever the hell he wants.' Tiff smirked; Duo's opinionated attitude was getting to her. "Heero is another story." 'Fuck! Why the hell did I say that?'  
  
Duo was shocked 'what the hell is this crazy bitch on about?!' "You don't mean that Heero's a -"  
  
Tiff cut him off again "prostitute? Yes I do. Before you judge him listen to his reason. When he got sick the company he worked for fired him. With no other means of financial support to get treatment and bring up Nam', he could only see two options for him. He could go back to assassinating people for money, but he didn't want to kill anymore besides the fact becoming an assassin would mean being away from Nam' for long periods of time. His only option was prostitution. If you take into account that in order to be a good assassin you get caught so you need to be at the peak of physical fitness, and to be a prostitute all you have to do is lay there and take it, you can see why he chose to prostitute himself.   
  
He hates it. He comes home and throws up until he can't anymore. I once asked him why he was putting himself through this and do you know what he told me? He told me that as long as Nammy has what she needs he can tolerate it. He won't let me help him out financially as he knows I don't have much to give." Tiff trailed off, appalled at all she had said but glad that Duo now had a better idea of what Heero was putting himself through for his daughter.  
  
Duo's was stunned 'Heero sells himself!' The guilt was consuming him. Somehow he knew this was all his fault.  
  
"Duo, how long do you think Heero can continue in this line of work?! He's terminally ill. He's not going to get better and he knows it. He needs you to promise to look after Nam' when he's gone. I think he's going to ask you to take her back to Earth with you when it's time for you to leave. He wants her to have all the things he was deprived of as a child.   
  
You've gotta know what that's like! You're from L2 for fucks sake. You were fighting in a Gundam when you were just 15!  
  
I know that he told you that you're Namida's father, Nam' knows who you are also. She loves Heero but if you ask her to she'll give you a chance to be a real father. She needs you Duo; take her back to Earth with you. I'll take care of Heero because it's clear to me that I am the only person here that truly both understands and gives a damn about him!"  
  
Tiff was panting. The look on Duo's ace had angered her. Heero was like a brother to her, she loved him so much. How could this…this…bastard, who had the mordacity to stand in front of her looking confused and innocent, have been so cruel to the kindest person in the whole of the Earth Sphere?!  
  
"Duo think about what I've said ok."  
  
Tiff stubbed out her cigarette and went inside. She would wait up for 'Ro. She always did. She just hoped that Duo had truly listened to her 'For both Namida and Heero's sake.' 


	8. Chapter Eight

Standard disclaimers apply!   
  
warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture!   
  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas hides don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished! Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx. all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear   
  
Title: Hell is for Heroes  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
"Wakey wakey everyone!" Tiff shouted as she moved through her apartment. Looking into Gracey's room she could see the two three year olds just waking up. As she passed the living room she got a bit of a shock. The Chinese man was already up, dressed and by the smell of things, showered. He was currently meditating. The American however 'Well he seems to be the one I have to blame for Nam's lazy streak.' She smiled. She liked Duo, he was a laugh. She could imagine him and Heero having great fun a while back, they were just so different and get, similar. It was hard to explain.   
  
She still thought he was a loser due to the conversation they had had the night before but atleast he was a funny loser.   
  
She moved out of the door to her apartment and let herself into Heero's, using the key he gave her.   
  
"Ok wakey wakey, rise and shine." She shouted as soon as the apartment door slammed shut behind her. She made her way to Heero's room.   
  
Out of curiosity she stopped to take a peek in to the rooms she passed.   
  
When she looked into the living room she couldn't help the envious smile that covered her face. Trowa and Quatre were curled up together fast asleep on the sofa. She banged on the door three times, then moved on quickly, not wanting them to know she was looking.  
  
She peaked into Namida's room and saw Relena graciously streaching.   
  
"Good morning Relena, did you sleep well?"  
  
Relena smiled "Very well thank you Tiff, but I gotta ask, is the décor for this room appropriate for a little girl?"  
  
Tiff chuckled "Nammy chose it. She likes blue. She hates all forms of pink, unlike Gracey, blue is her obsession." Tiff smiled dreamily "Ocean blue, like Heero's eyes. She idolizes him, it's so cute." Pulling herself together she shot Relena a cheeky smile, "I'll go check on sleeping beauty now shall I?" with that she snuck into Heero's room.   
  
"'Ro, you ok? Do you want me to take Nam' to daycare or you gunna do it?"  
  
A very groggy Heero emerged from under the duvet. "It's ok, I wanna do it. Dunno how much longer I have left with her do I?"  
  
Tiff sighed "I really wish you'd stop talking like that, hun, it's kinda upsetting."  
  
"Gomen, I just can't see myself recovering from this. Here I am telling my friends that I'm terminally Ill when the truth is I have a very small chance of survival but I don't have the cash to grab it. I refuse to ask you or any of them for money. No one has molly coddled me in my hole life and I'll be damned if I let anyone do it to me now, so just don't go there ok! Why the hell did I have to have such a fucking rare bloody group?! If it wasn't for that, getting a bone marrow transplant would be easy!"  
  
"I know hun, I know. Get dressed we've got an hour and a half before the brats have to be at daycare. I plan to take you out for breakfast, so shake a leg pally!"  
  
"Tiffy, you can't afford to keep spoiling me! After last night all I want to do is hide."  
  
Tiff places the back of her hand on Heero's forehead. "Are you really the same Heero Yuy who self destructed in wing and survived?! Are you the same Heero Yuy who went through years of torturous training and serious sexual abuse and survived?! Are you the same Heero Yuy that defeated Mariemaia whilst being four months pregnant with Duo's kid and survived?! Are you the same Heero Yuy who went though the horrendous pain of bearing a child and having a c-section alone and survived?! Are you the same Heero Yuy who is managing to raise a child, whilst whoring himself at night just to make ends meet and gain treatment for an illness that caused him to get fired from his dream job? Your still here. Against all odds your still here. You've faced worse foes that cancer. If theirs is anyway that you can get through this I have every faith that you'll find it. So shut the fuck up, get up and make sure you kid knows that you love her."   
  
"Thanks babes, I needed that." Heero gave Tiff a kiss on the cheak and went about getting ready.  
  
What neither Tiff nor Heero noticed was the pair of eyes that had been watching them the whole time.   
  
Relena had herd slightly raised voiced so she'd gone investigate. Upon hearing all about Heero's life she decided she needed to have a long chat with Wufei, Quatre, Trowa and Duo. Things were gunna get better for Heero. She was going to make sure of it even if it killed her.   
  
She's managed to maintain peace so she could manage to give Heero a proper life and not just an existence.   
  
She was going to save Earth's savior.  
  
The irony wasn't lost to her.   
  



	9. Chapter Nine

Standard disclaimers apply! warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture!  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas hides don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished!  
Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx.  
all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear   
Title: Hell is for Heroes Chapter Nine  
  
"When Nammy was three years old she insisted that I let her go to daycare, I had just started working for a computer company that let me work when I wanted. It paid just about enough for me to get by, I couldn't ask for a pay rise coz' they weren't a very rich company." Heero and Duo were sat in the living room of Heero's apartment discussing their daughter.  
  
Just as Duo was about to ask more about his daughter Heero's cell phone rang. A look of disgust crossed Heero's face. "Hai, I understand. I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up the phone and began to make his way upstairs.  
  
"Sorry Duo, we'll have to continue this conversation some other time. I have to go to work." Duo cringed. He hated the idea of someone else touching HIS Heero's body, but Heero didn't know that he knew about his line of work. He couldn't bare to watch Heero go off in his fuck outfit so he went to the next door apartment to hang out with Tiff and the others.  
  
"Hey Duo. Where's Heero I thought the two of you were catching up on old time?!"  
  
"Yea well he had to go to work." He shot Tiff a significant look that was luckily missed by everyone else in the room.  
  
He left his apartment wearing black leather pants and a green mesh top. Huge boots incased his petite feet and a leather chocker encircled his neck. He looked like sex personified.  
  
When he reached the whore house he was greeted by (if you can call it greeted) a tall, muscular man. This was Ice. He ran the prostitution ring around the area. He directed Heero to a room and five minutes later he had his first client of the day.  
  
The man was built like ice. Heero sat on the bed and watched as the man unzipped his pants. The man was hung like a horse. This was going to hurt a lot.  
  
Jaz made his way to the beautiful boy on the bed. The boy had an aura of strength but also of innocence. He was going to enjoy this one. He pulled the boys hair until the prostitute's face was level with his aching arousal.  
  
Heero knew what to do he licked the head on the man's penis before deep throating him. Heero was shocked when a second later he found himself on all fours.  
  
Jaz entered him roughly. If this boy was in this line of business then he should be able to take it. He would be a really shitty rent boy if he couldn't take a bit of pain.  
  
As the man thrust in and out of him Heero could feel himself tearing. It didn't matter. He was used to it. He didn't know what it was about him but it seemed that all the people that hired him wanted to hurt him. He didn't care, he was used to pain. At one point pain was all he had. Until Nam' 'NOOOOOO! I can't think of her now! She's innocent. If I do then I'll be corrupting her too!'  
  
White hot pain consumed his vision. The hands of darkness were pulling him into their realm. He couldn't let himself be pulled. He had to stay conscious or the man wouldn't pay. He fought the erg until he felt his insides being covered in a warm substance that he knew was semen.  
  
His last thought was 'FUCK! I DIDN'T MAKE HIM WEAR A CONDOM!' before he blacked out.  
  
"A little while after Nam' started day care, 'Ro found he had cancer. The bastard computer company fired him as soon as they found out, not willing to let him claim on their insurance. He didn't have enough money to survive. He needed to get treatment and for cancer that's costly. He told me that he knew he had to survive for Namida, because he was all she had, because he didn't want her to have a childhood anything like the load of shit that was his. That's why he became a prostitute. It was all he could do. No one would hire a sick man and the government won't support a sick ex-terrorist with no formal education." Tiff finished telling the group.  
  
They were all on earth. Heero had blacked out after servicing Ice. He condition had taken a turn for the worst. It was almost a dead cert that he would die. Almost. Not totally. This was Heero Yuy, gundam pilot 01 they were talking about. The man who survived self-destruction and mastered the ZERO system when he was just 15. He could do anything. They all believed that.  
  
"How do you know all this? How did you and Heero meet?" that was Quatre. The four not terminally ill gundam pilots were sat in the relatives' room at the Sanq hospital on Earth. Also in the room was Tiff and Relena. They were discussing Heero while they waited for Sally to return with the test results. Heero still hadn't regained consciousness.  
  
"Heero and I met through Nam' and Gracey. Heero came to pick Nam' up from daycare and as we were waiting for the terrible two we stared talking. We found out that we were both single parents, and when I discovered his illness, I was only too happy to help him take care of his daughter while he was in hospital. We were shocked to find out that for the last two and a half years we had been living next door to each other and never met.  
  
As time went by I started to realize that Heero could sometimes do with a shove in the right direction. He always made sure Nam' was 100% ok but when it came to himself he was willing to stick with about 30%. I ended up taking care of him also. He's like a little brother to me now." She stopped to look at the others in the room. With the exception of Duo she could see that they all thought of Heero as their little brother. Their was just something about him that you felt like you had to protect. Yes, on the outside he maybe strong, but on the inside he was more fragile than glass.  
  
"When I found about Heero's job I was… shocked, to say the least, but I stayed. I know he was grateful because soon after he told me about his past, about him a duo, and about how Namida Helen Maxwell-Yuy came to be.  
  
He made me promise that if anything was to happen to him that I would take Namida to her father."  
  
There was an air of shocked and saddened silence as everyone contemplated what had just been said.  
  
"Look guys, I don't pretend to know everything there is to know about Heero Yuy but I do know one thing. He's been through hell and so closes himself off in order to protect himself. Most people see him as heartless, but my god he is the farthest for heartless you could ever get. He both has and understands emotions; it's just that he's been hurt so badly that he thinks that if he shows what he really feels then he makes himself venerable. When he's venerable, he gets hurt."  
  
She sighed, 'Doesn't look like they're going to join in in this conversation anytime soon now does it!' "I guess I can relate to Heero so well because I know what it's like to be raped." Now that got their attention. Reason one: None of them knew that Heero had been raped. Reason two: She was telling them a very personal thing.  
  
"When I was eleven I was raped by my father. He was a federation solider. A mean fucking drunk. He held me down and forced me to-" She couldn't go on.  
"So when Heero told me about what the technicians used to do to him when he was with J, I could relate. That's when we knew that we could really trust each other."  
  
Sally chose that moment to enter the room. The tense silence continued well after she left.   
  
Sally and Wufei were sat together on one of the sofas in the relatives' room. Quatre was sat on Trowa's lap in the chair next to their Chinese friend and his wife. Relena was asleep with her head in Tiff's lap while Tiff slept with her head pillowed on the sofa on which she and Relena sat.  
  
They were all terrified that they would loose the japans ex-pilot. He had gone into surgery about an hour ago to get a bone marrow transplant. The funding for this operation came form Relena Darlain and Quatre R. Winner.  
  
The Guy donating his bone marrow…  
  
Duo Maxwell. 


	10. Chapter Ten

Standard disclaimers apply! warnings: I'm going to be including rape scenes etc. later on, pilot preggy, prostitution.... O and LOTS and LOTS of torture!  
Pairings: 2x1 mainly, a bit of 1x2 (i like Uke Heero best! ) side pairings (3x4, 5xS) just mentioned and variousx1  
  
Apologies to anyone who feels I have stolen any of their material, I promise you it wasn't intentional but I have read a lot of fics in order to get ideas hides don't hate me…. Thanks to anyone who's bothering to read this fic it's going to be part of a loooooooong series but I have to fit writing chapters in with doing coursework etc. so it may not get finished for a while but believe me it WILL get finished!  
Like all authors i LOVE getting reviewed (good or bad its just good to get someone's opinion) so if you can spare the time please please please review thx.  
all my love [An Angel's] Silver Tear   
Title: Hell is for Heroes Chapter Ten  
  
The sea hit the shore with a momentous force. The waves crashing again st the rocks in an age old act. Three people sat and watched the beautiful sight. The youngest of the trio taking in the sight with wide, innocent eyes. This was her first time on earth.  
  
The eight year old was sat on her Daddy's lap. Her Daddy had her arm around her Papa's waist; her Papa's head lay gently on her Daddy's shoulder. Her Papa's arm was in turn snaked about her Daddy's waist but her Papa's other arm was resting on her knee with her Daddy's had resting on top of it, meaning that her Daddy's arm was around her waist. She smiled. He Papa was really happy and so was she. She was glad her Daddy came back. She loved her Daddy but not in the same way she loved her Papa. She loved both her parents to the same degree just in different ways.  
  
She snuggled closer to her Daddy's chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating. She smiled and gazed lovingly into the eyes of her Papa. His blue eyes, so much like her own shone back at her. He smiled. A smile that was meant just for her. Just for his little 'Tenshi'.  
  
Duo looked from the picturesque example of mother nature's violence to the tranquil scene of his family. His husband and his daughter. The hand he had around Heero's waist moved to caress the extended abdomen in which his son was sleeping peacefully.  
  
The last five years had been eventful to say the least. Dispite the bone marrow transplant it had been touch and go with Heero. The pain he felt due to all the abuse he had fased in his life, at times got on top of him and fighting the cancer became a little too hard. One look at his daughter, one hug from his then boyfriend and he seemed to find the strength to carryon.  
  
Duo often joked that Heero must have a pact with God similar to the one he had with Shinigami. Heero often replied with perhaps we have the same one. Duo never understood that but it didn't matter to him because Heero was alive.  
  
They married in AC 204 just a mere three months after Heero was given the all clear. Duo would have married Heero sooner but Heero was adamant that he wasn't going to tie Duo down to a corpse. Duo hated hearing that but, like always, he went alone with what his Hee-chan wanted.  
  
Now, in June AC205, Duo couldn't believe that five years ago he was experiencing the worst period of time in his life. He couldn't believe that just five years ago Heero was missing, presumed dead. That in actual fact Heero was raising their daughter single-handedly as well as battling cancer and prostituting himself for the money he needed to do this.  
  
Things were definitely better now. They hadn't slept together again until their wedding night. Heero had been afraid and several times they had to stop and take a breather because all Heero's past sexual experiences were bad, even the one that had resulted in Namida.  
  
That night had been magical for both of them despite everything. Once Heero was totally sure in everyway that Duo wouldn't hurt him, he'd enjoyed himself. Since that night he'd had no nightmares of Gregory Mitchell or any of his past clients.  
  
Duo had let him be on top that night. It had been hard for Duo because of his own demons from the past but it had all turned out ok.  
  
Flashback  
  
He carried his Japanese spouse of the threshold of their hotel room. Tiff was taking care of Namida while the newlyweds were on their honeymoon.  
  
Duo set Heero down on the king sized four poster bed. Heero started attacking his husband's mouth as soon as his back touched the mattress.  
  
Hands roamed under tuxedos. Mouths met with flushed skin. They moaned continuously. Heero flipped the passions so that he was on top. He straddled Duo's hips and began to strip for his koi. Duo moaned. Heero was just so erotic. His hips started to buck, seeking friction.  
  
Once undressed Heero undressed his Duo. His mouth worked its way up and down Duo's sculpted Body. Heero too great care to avoid the American's straining manhood. His kissed and caressed the entirety of Duo's body.  
  
"Take me Heero…" Duo begged. This was getting too much. He wanted to feel His Heero inside him.  
  
"Are you sure?" the worry was evident in Heero's sexy monotone voice.  
  
"It's time I put the past behind me, it's time we both did. I trust you. Take me Hee-chan. Aishiteru."  
  
Heero smiled warmly into his beloved's eyes and he inserted the first lube coated finger. Duo gasped at the sensation. It was just so damn good. As Heero worked his finger in his betrothed's tight passage he couldn't stop the hand that stroked his hard on. He added another finger and nearly came at the sound Duo made.  
  
Duo noticed the hand stroking Heero's hard on. He smirked. 'It seems my lover is really into me… hummm what can I do to get him to stop with all this fucking preparation and make love to me? I know I'm ready now… oh wait, I know'  
  
Duo let out a low moan as his hand started to stoke his erection in time with the fingers Heero was thrusting inside him.  
  
"Duo…" Heero's voice was husky and filled with lust.  
  
"Take me Heero. I'm ready"  
  
As Heero entered Duo they never broke eye contact. Once Heero was buried to the hilt they shared a passionate kiss. Duo adjusted to Heero size quickly. The Japanese man thrust in and out of his American lover slowly. The pace quickened when Duo's hips joined in the dance.  
  
An hour later they lay curled up around each other tired and spent.  
  
An hour after that saw Heero writhing under Duo's ministrations as Duo took him.  
  
The stamina of two ex-gundam pilots is truly amazing. If you take into account that the ex-perfect solider had just recovered from a disease that had almost killed him, then the sounds that came form that hotel room almost every two hours for a week would shock you. For the entire week of their honeymoon neither boy was seen by the hotel staff… the mess they left behind was thought. The manager joked about how if would be cheaper to just buy a new hotel rather that replace all the things the young couple destroyed in their lust filled state.  
  
End flashback  
  
Heero smiled. He was finally happy. He'd spent twenty-five years looking for this, and now he had it. He had a loving husband; a beautiful, intelligent, strong and all round wonderful daughter; and a baby on the way. Life was great.  
  
"What are you thinking?" his beloved's soft voice reached his ears and Heero's smile grew. "I was just thinking about how happy and how lucky I am…." Heero trailed off.  
  
Duo's soft violet eyes met his equally as soft blue ones. "If your gunna kiss I want you to let me go, now." a cheeky little voice interrupted their romantic moment.  
  
Both men laughed. Their daughter definitely took after Duo personality wise, in looks she took more after Heero.  
  
Duo stood pulling his precious spouse up with him while still carrying his daughter. The trio headed home. To their little house by the beach with it's little white picket fence and blossoming garden. Turned out the Nam' had quite the thing for flowers and growing them was her passion. Although their family dogs seemed to like to dig up all her hard work. You could often her Nam' in the garden shouting "Mary, Wingscythe STOP IT!" The cat, Shinigami, always seemed to be far away from the scene when Nam' was scolding the dogs but Duo suspected that his cat was in no way innocent of the mess.   
  
On the first of October After Colony 205 their first son Kitai Solo Maxwell-Yuy was born at 23:51, and on the second of October After Colony 205 their second son Sugoi Odin Maxwell-Yuy was born at 00:04.  
  
Sugoi's existence came as a great surpise. Kitai's birth marked the birth of their new life hence the name Kitai which means hope in Heero's native toungue. Namida found it appropreate, She also picked her second little brother's name. Sugoi, amazing, because that's what he was.  
  
Namida smiled. Now her Papa had a tear of amazing hope. That sounded so stupid that there was no way that she was going to tell anyone but that's how she felt.  
  
As she watched her Daddy and her Papa bottle feeding her new baby brothers she knew everything was going to be ok.  
  
As long as she had her family she was confident that she could do anything.  
Love is all you need and each member of the Maxwell-Yuy family had it in Gundam sized portions.  
  
They were going to be ok.  
  
They had each other.  
  
END  
  
Ok so that's it. I know it wasn't great. It being my first fic and all. So if you could tell me what you thought I would be so grateful. Thanks. Oh and if you would like to see a sequel let me know and some ideas would be good too. You can email me, put it in a review what ever you like. I'm not picky. Ok thanks for reading. I would just like to say that it's been a real pleasure writing for y'all and if you've bothered to read it then I thank you. Love ST! 


End file.
